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15 Hard Choices You Have to Make in Life!

12 November 2020

Here Are 15 Lemonade Recipes for 15 Different Times Life Throws You Lemons.

There’s a truth in this simple idea when faced with hard choices. Flip a coin. Why? Because, if the coin lands on heads and you’re silently disappointed it wasn’t tails, then you know which decision you need to make.

Aluxers, we’ve all come to a point in our lives where we have to make a tough choice. Some you might have already made a decision on and some might still be in the pipeline, but just know that no one is exempt from making hard choices in life.

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Here’s an easy choice: an article or a video? If you said the latter, here’s the YouTube upload for this topic:

With that made easy, let’s begin squishing some lemons.

1

Do You Study Further or Start Working?

Aluxers, we know that this is a hard choice to make, and unfortunately, we cannot make it for you. We suggest writing a list of pros and cons for either decision:

Pro for studying further: You could find a higher paid job when you’re finished studying.

Con of studying further: Your student loan will take longer to pay off.

Pro for working instead of studying: You start earning money right away. (If you’re lucky to find a job)

Con for working instead of studying: It’s very difficult to get back into studying if you’ve decided to further your education.

Truthfully, there is no right or wrong decision. You do what works best for you at the time. If you accept that, you leave little room for regret about either decision you made.

2

Do You Follow Your Passion, or Do You Follow the Money?

They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you… you can decide what to fill in the gaps Aluxers.

It’s not a completely bad idea to follow the money, just don’t lose a sense of yourself when you do. Take your passions and your strengths with you and learn to love what you do. If you’re going into a job everyday that literally sucks out your soul, then it’s time to relook things.

And Aluxers, it’s never too late to make a change.

If your passion is not putting food on the table and you’re constantly fraught with anxiety because you don’t know when your next paycheck is coming in, that passion will quickly become a nightmare.

Instead, you could follow the money and have a side hustle where you let your passion shine. Money is often the means you need to fund your passion, and that’s ok.

Balance is everything, and with time, you will strike your perfect balance.

3

Where Do You Choose to Settle?

In the words of Selina Gomez, “the heart knows what it wants,” … but in the case of deciding where to settle, what if the heart doesn’t know what it wants. What then?

Fortunately, with this kind of decision, once you see things in black and white – it can help tremendously in making the decision.

For starters, what kind of budget do you have? No point wanting to live in Knightsbridge and your budget is screaming Shepherds Bush.

What are the taxes like? Can you get to work easily? In fact, Aluxers, we’ve got you covered in our video: 15 Questions To Answer Before Relocating. Be sure to watch it to help you make your very difficult choice.

4

Will You Get Married or Cohabit?

To marry or not to marry, that is the question. And with the changing landscape of our world now, many are opting for the latter.

There are many reasons why this hard choice is cropping up more frequently than previous decades. Women and men are looking to be educated and financially stable before entering marriage, which delays marriage. By that time, many partners have already been living together unmarried, so choose to remain that way.

There are more laws protecting the rights of couples that are cohabiting, and not married. Plus, it could save legal costs down the line should the sh*t hit the fan.

5

Will You Get a Pre-Nup if You Do Choose to Get Married?

Aluxers, we get it. You’ve made the decision to get married and you literally have stars in your eyes every time you look at your partner.

Then, it’s time to start making some decisions about your prenup before the big day, and you’re both so in love that you genuinely believe it’s not needed, because you’ll be together forever.

Consider what Alec Baldwin said, “If you do get married, get a prenup. It’s not about money at all. It’s about having a document that states how you’ll dissolve your marriage while you still have a shred of respect for each other.”

6

Do You Want to Have Children or Not?

No doubt about it, deciding whether to have children or not is a tough decision. People might tell you that you’ll regret it later in life if you don’t have a baby, but if you’ve thought it through and you’re at peace with your decision, you won’t have regrets later in life.

The thing with having a child is that you can write pros and cons list till you’re blue in the face, but nothing will prepare you for having a child. There are so many unknowns.

Leaving it to fate is not advisable by experts, because that will leave you doubtful at times, especially when you’re struggling or having a low episode once baby is already there. It’s not like you can send it back from where it came from!

At least, if you’ve made a decision either for or against having children, your decision is substantiated, and you can lean on that when you have a wobbly.

We recommend listening to 50 Things to Know Before Having a Baby on audible, using alux.com/freebook.

7

When Will You Start Your Family?

Aluxers, as if making the one of the hard choices to have children or not wasn’t enough, now it’s time to decide when you’re going to have children.

Most people like to have everything in place:

You’re the “right age” – check

Nice house with garden – check

Steady income – check

Great relationship – check

Reliable car – check

But the reality is, you could have all your boxes ticked, there is never really a right or a wrong time to begin your family.

Some like to advice you to just enjoy yourself and if it happens naturally, great! Ask anyone who has tried to make a baby according to a tight time schedule, and you’ll soon realize how the novelty can wear off quickly.

8

How Do You Raise Your Children?

Having a baby is a huge game-changer in relationships, and as cute and adorable as what babies are, they can cause havoc in a once calm and peaceful environment.

Getting used to a lack of sleep is one thing, but there are so many other variables that people don’t consider when having a baby and one of them is how to raise your children.

You could be one of those people who lean towards free-range parenting, but your partner is more the helicopter type of individual.

The best way to make this decision is to ensure you and your partner hash it out before the kids arrive. If you’re not on the same page, then get counselling or guidance so that by the time baby arrives, you’re well on your way to making great parenting decisions together.

This is just one of those topics that you need to know before getting into parenting. Here are 15 Things That Change When You BECOME A NEW PARENT.

9

Do You Use Tough Love When Your Child Is Clearly on a Path of Destruction?

It’s not a great thing to think about, but what if your adult child is abusing substances, and you have helped them time and time again to get clean, but to no avail.

Where do you draw the line and stop helping them? Are you enabling them by getting them out of sh*t all the time?

What if it’s 2am and you receive a pitiful call from your adult child who’s been locked up for drunken driving and needs bail? Do you rush over and pay it – no questions asked. Or, do you let your kid spend the night in jail to learn a lesson? Such situations call for some hard choices to be made.

What if your adult child is always lending money from you? Do you keep giving, and when will enough be enough?

It’s a hard question to ask yourself, because it’s natural for a parent to not want their child to suffer… but if you can look ahead, the awkward, uncomfortable feeling you have now, will be far better than a broke ass adult who lost his licence and relies on narcotics to get through a day.

10

When Do You Walk Away or Try Harder?

This is the crossroad of all crossroads, and we’ve all been there.

Things to consider:

You’re always putting more effort in than your partner.

You’re feeling drained and exhausted all the time.

You’ve lost your identity somewhere along the way.

You avoid coming home or feel happy when your partner is away.

You continually try and fix a repetitive problem, but you both keep going in circles.

If you’ve tried therapy, counselling and open communication with your partner, and nothing has helped… it might be time to close the chapter of this book.

11

Do You Cut Out Toxic People in Your Life, Including Family?

In our video, 15 Most Thought-Provoking Questions, we asked the same question: Who’s the one person you wish you could cut from your life but are too afraid to? And we said how we completely understand how difficult it is to cut toxic people from our lives because we are wrapped with guilt, fear and worry about what people will think. It is one of the hard choices to cut contact with a family member especially.

You know a toxic person. The one that leaves you drained after spending even just a few minutes in their company, or you’re the one doing all the work in the relationship, or you find you can’t be yourself in their company… then, it’s best to cut your losses and walk on.

Again, only you can make that decision and you will know when you’re ready.

12

Will You Rent or Buy Property?

Aluxers, we’ve got you properly covered for this hard choice in our video, Renting a Home vs Buying a Home.

We’ve highlighted the good and the bad of both.

Your own home offers you security, the right to paint and drill to your hearts content, it’s a good long-term investment, you can take a loan from your bond. However, it’s a huge financial outlay, the interest is astronomical, and you’ll be liable to fix everything that goes wrong, and when you’re a home-owner, that list is never ending!

Renting is great for flexibility, you’re not tied down to the property or area forever, but you can’t make changes to the property if you’re not happy with something. Annual rent fluctuations are out of your control and there is little housing security.

Take the time to weigh up the option that best suits your lifestyle before you decide on such hard choices.

13

Do You Pursue a Relationship Even Though Others Disapprove?

Perhaps you’ve fallen in love with someone of a different religion to you, a different race or you’ve fallen in love with someone of the same sex… now what?

Your aunty and uncle are ashamed, your mom and dad can’t understand what they did wrong and you’ve been told on more than one occasion that your late grandmother would be turning in her grave.

What the heck do you do? You’re in love with someone that fits you perfectly. And most importantly, you’re happy. And we’ll repeat that last line… and most importantly, YOU’RE happy.

We think we know your answer for this one ?

14

Do You Stay in the Relationship for the Sake of the Children?

It’s a tough choice to make, and it’s not going to be the last time that someone will have to make it.

Experts believe that if the child is witness to abuse, fighting, anger, frustration or pain, it’s best to walk away. Children grow up thinking that’s the correct way to behave in a relationship and they end up having destructive relationships as adults.

We can’t know the journey or reason for each divorce, but we know that things must be tough to get to that place. Aluxers, seek guidance or counselling if you’re battling with this decision. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help – it takes courage to admit you’re not coping and we at Alux want you to be healthy, and mentally strong.

And finally, Aluxers, this must be the worst and toughest decision anyone will ever need to make.

15

Do You Switch off the Life-Support Machine?

If you’ve been here before, you will understand why we left it for last. It’s the most awful decision you’ll ever make, and sadly, it sits with you for the rest of your life.

You’ll have, “but, what if’s, and maybe I should have waited one more day,” circulating around your brain.

We hope that if you’re ever faced with this decision that you have a team of loved ones by your side, and we wish you peace, strength and acceptance.

 

Question

Aluxers, what is the most difficult decision you’ve ever had to make in life? We appreciate your feedback.