Not Adhering to Traditional Stereotypes Can Make Men Face a Lot of Backlash. Given Below Are Some of Those Manly Stereotypes.
Lo and behold, the male stereotypes.
Big boys don’t cry.
Boys don’t wear pink.
Be a man. Fight.
What … the… actual… h*ll?
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Let’s move forward to the first stereotype.
Men Lose Out on Valuable Friendships
As a society, we expect Men to hang with a certain crowd, whether it’s a sporting crowd, biking crowd or gyming… whatever it is. Hanging out with the guys is great, but it doesn’t lend itself to more than a couple slaps on the back, a few cold ones and the odd, “I’ll tap into that,” vibe.
Each man trying to fit in, trying to be cool, struggling for others to accept and consider them “one of the boys.” And the truth is, they haven’t been taught how to have real friendships.
We stress Aluxers, this is the stereotype, and many men fall into the stereotypical trap of believing that is what the world expects of them. People also don’t believe that men can have genuine, intimate relationships with another male. And if they do… there must be more to the relationship than just friendship…
Men Struggle to Show Emotion
Often relationships can be frustrating for both partners in a heterosexual relationship when the man is unable to constructively share his feelings, his worries, or anxieties.
He’s been taught to not speak about his problems. He bottles them up and often doesn’t let his partner in to share or appease the concerns. This can lead to a breakdown of communication between a couple and can-do long-term damage to a relationship.
There is a scientific term for this phenomenon, “normative male alexithymia.” This describes the difficulty in translating their emotional experience into words.
As Psychology Today reports, “traditional masculine role socialization is channeling many men into ways of being such that their masculine identity conflicts with many emotions they feel and what they feel they have the “permission” to express.”
By understanding this concept, it makes it a different experience when approaching emotional issues with your male friend or partner.
Men Are Expected to Choose a Certain Kind of Career
What this means is that often men find themselves working a job that they don’t have a passion for. Even in 2021, there are certain jobs that we classify as women jobs and other jobs that as men jobs. This is one of those male stereotypes that nobody is talking about.
How many male beauty therapists do you come across? Or, if you happen to have a male hairdresser, he must be gay. Male kindergarten teacher? We’re not even sure families would feel safe dropping their kids off at that school.
Masculinity dictates what jobs are acceptable for men and which are not. Often, if men choose a more feminine role, people in society, and especially other men, ridicule or mock them making it very difficult for men to pursue their passion.
Men Must Provide for the Family
And this is two-fold, we understand. Just like we expect women to fulfil the nurturing role for kids. However, this thinking can cause huge mental and health problems for men. People around them expect them to be the bigger bread winner, and many men see it as a failure if they don’t earn as much as their partner.
Many women don’t disclose their full salary in case it causes trouble in their relationship. And that’s because the society conditions men to believe they must earn more. Why?
According to cnbc.com – men feel stress when their wives earn more then they do. As they put it, “Traditional social gender norms suggest that men should be the breadwinners in relationships.
Even though the tides are turning, many Americans adhere to the deep unconscious belief that men must be able to provide financially to be a “proper” provider for their family.” Farnoosh Torabi explains this idea, financial expert and author of “When She Makes More.”
You can listen to it on audible.com
Sports Is Not Really Your Thing
Oh boy, guys, it’s freaking awkward telling another guy that sports aren’t your thing. People around men simply expect them to just love the game.
This can exclude and isolate guys.
I mean, which guy doesn’t like sports, right? He must be… gay.
Theeverydayman website has an article about this exact topic, with the title “is it ok for guys not to like sports?”
And they confirm the sentiment… “Does it make you gay? Of course not. You’re gay if you like other men. There are plenty of gay men out there who love playing and watching sport, just as there are lots of straight guys who don’t. Hobbies don’t define your sexuality any more than they define your gender.”
Being the “Nice” Guy Is a Disadvantage
You’ve heard the song by Julia Michaels, “All good boys go to heaven, but bad boys bring heaven to you.”
Apparently, all girls want the bad boys. But it goes further then that.
Even the workplace wants the “bad” boys.
In the work environment, it’s safe to assume that you’d want to work with calmer, more unassuming men. Well, assumption is the mother of all f*ck-ups.
A study done by Dr Livingston and two colleagues at the University of Notre Dame and the University of Western Ontario “Do Nice Guys–and Gals–Really Finish Last” was finding interesting results as it was interviewing 10,000 people. These result were:
“Researchers were examining “agreeableness” levels in more than 10,000 workers across a wide range of professions, salaries and ages.
They found that “men measuring below average levels of agreeableness are earning about 18% more, or the equivalent of €6,775 per year, than nicer guys.” This may be the best of all male stereotypes, because according to the stats, it is at least true when it comes to the negotiation table.
Being a nice guy is not always a bad move though, check out 15 RULES for being a GENTLEMAN.
Men Are Better Drivers
We’re not saying that you’re not a better driver than say, your girlfriend… what we’re meaning though is that men grow up truly believing they’re better drivers, without showing any particular skill / proof that they are.
This leads to many more accidents on the road, as men miscalculate things, unnecessary chances are taken and there’s a sense of invincibility.
The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety has data that proving that more men than women were causalities in car accidents. Over the course of 12-months, 71% of casualties were men compared to 29% of women.
Man Must Tough Guy – Ready to Fight
However, if you look at the most incredible male role models, this rhetoric is changing.
Actor, Justin Baldoni, gave the most incredible Ted Talk “Why I’m Done Trying to be Man Enough.” And we highly recommend watching this, whether you’re male or female.” For women, it gives beautiful insight to a person that wasn’t or isn’t given the grace to just be themselves and for men, to know that other men are walking the same path and are also tired of pretending to be something they’re not.
As he says, “it’s exhausting trying to be man enough for everyone all the time.
Dwayne Johnson is another incredible role model for all genders, and take his inspirational words to heart, “the single most powerful thing I can be is to be myself.”
Lucky Boy if He’s Subject to Unsolicited Sex by an Older Woman
It’s the stuff of every schoolboy fantasy, right? The older teacher coming on to the young student and having a quickie in the rec room… for some, maybe…but this reaction to what is blatantly sexual assault is downright horrific. Such male stereotypes are only true when they’re on the screens, unfortunately they are traumas in real life.
And the fact that people and media downplay it to a point where the child also believes that he got “lucky” is just as bad as the abuse that took place.
Men also face victimization, but they can’t even speak openly about it.
The National Crime Victimization Survey did a survey asking 40,000 households about rape and sexual violence. The results were unbelievable. 38% of incidents were against men.
Men Must Like Porn
Sure, plenty of men do like porn… but so do plenty of women. Women just don’t admit to it as readily.
Therecoveryvillage.com says that one-third of all internet porn users are women and that women who do watch porn have a higher quality sex life. It affects men adversely, with 56% of divorces resulting due to an “obsessive interest” in porn.
Just because someone is male, doesn’t mean they have an addiction to porn!
Pink Is a Girl’s Colour
Pink was a boy’s colour. In a 1918 trade publication, Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department claims the following, “the general rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls.”
Apparently, the colours were chosen to compliment hair and eye colour. Blue was seen as the daintier colour and the creative people at work were assigning it to girls and pink, the stronger colour, to boys. But even then, it wasn’t set in stone and both colours were for both sexes. It was only after the second world war that it became a more acceptable routine, but it wasn’t until the 80s that it truly stuck.
The stereotype here is that men who wear pink are often perceived as gay, in touch with his feminine side, or really confident to pull off pink… what thee actual f*ck?
Wear whatever colour suits you, and let’s ditch these ancient stereotypes.
You Catch Like a Girl
Don’t scream like a girl.
You run like a girl.
Parents often use these male stereotypes on their sons, and what is it saying to their son? That girls are inferior to boys. So, boys grow up hearing this, and then go through life truly believing they’re better than girls.
There was a case study done called # likeAGirl and women were asked to tweet the incredible things they did, #likeAGirl. A 60-seconds version of the final video aired at the 2015 Super Bowl.
This better than thou stereotype damages men who feel like complete failures when a female does something better than he does.
Men Also Struggle With Body Image
But unlike women who tackle the personal issues that made them put on weight in the first place … men are told to drink protein drinks, beef up, do 100 sit ups and go climb a mountain.
The mental and health issues are never addressed. So, they keep going and going on this hamster wheel to lose weight, when the weightier issue is far deeper than just physical appearance.
Men Don’t Do the Dishes
Right, so that’s a basic example. But parents relegate certain chores to certain sexes. Boys take out the trash, girls do the dishes. Girls do the cooking; boys do the garage work.
Instead of growing up to be able to take care of himself in all spheres; cooking, trash, laundry, garage work etc, the man needs to rely on his partner for the things he doesn’t know how to do and believes it’s not his place to, anyway.
The result is that men are considered the “extra child,” because his partner has to take care of him too.
This stereotype is such a disservice to both sexes, not just men.
Men Are Expected to Be the Hero
This is an impossible expectation… and what happens when they can’t achieve such impossible male stereotypes?
Save.org gives some scary statistics but the prevalent one is, “Suicide among males is 4x’s higher than among females. Male deaths represent 79% of all US suicides.”
Theguardian.com claims that 70% of suicides are white males, and when they can’t “man up,” or “act tough,” … what is the alternative?
We’ll share that with you shortly.
Aluxers, what male stereotypes do you believe negatively affect men? We’d love to hear your thoughts.