The biggest obstacles in life include where you are born, how you are raised, the people around you, your health and your own habits, and the video argues that understanding each one is the first step to getting past it. This is a longer list than usual because the script wanted to do each obstacle justice. You may not face all of them, but you have probably faced some and know people who have faced others.
Seeing the weight of these obstacles can help you appreciate how far you have come, keep pushing when your strength runs low and recognize human resilience. Several topics here (health, mental health and loss) are sensitive, so the article keeps to what the script says and does not give advice.
Watch the full video here, or skip to the breakdown below.
The 15 obstacles at a glance
- 1 to 3. Where and how you start (0:57)
- 4 to 6. School, early bonds and looks (4:23)
- 7 to 9. People and perspective (7:29)
- 10 to 12. Success pressure, pleasing others, passion (11:17)
- 13 to 15. Health and loss (17:47)
1 to 3. Where and how you start
Being born poor is by far one of the biggest obstacles and motivators. It comes in levels: a family that struggles to put food on the table, with parents rarely home and constant moves between homes and schools, or a family that looks fine from outside but supports many relatives and carries debt, so college is a pipe dream. The script compares it to climbing a mountain with a weight attached. The poorer you are, the more weight you pull. As long as you keep pulling you get stronger, so you reach the top maybe a little later than others but much stronger.
Being born in a low-income country is harder still. Research cited in the script shows poor people in developed countries tend to have more opportunities because many offer free education, healthcare and social welfare (the USA excepted). It is like swimming in a stormy sea with a heavy ship trailing behind. Nothing is impossible, and some people do make it to shore.
Growing up too quickly seems like an advantage because you have more self-awareness, but the brain develops at a set pace. Three brain parts (the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala and the hippocampus) work together to judge risk, process fear and decide. A fear-based childhood makes the hippocampus more dominant and stops you from taking risks, and watching adults with poor impulse control makes the prefrontal cortex warn early. You are supposed to take risks and be fearless when young, and you cannot when you have had to grow up fast.
The harder the start, the more strength you build by pulling the weight.
4 to 6. School, early bonds and looks
The traditional school system is called a disappointing farce in the script, one that goes against what brains and bodies want to do and keeps everyone in line. Many struggle with sitting for eight hours and feel inadequate, and a report card below your peers’ is one of the most gut-wrenching feelings for a child. The script says it is not you: standardized testing, the focus on recall, the one-size-fits-all approach and limited real-world use make the system a major obstacle to success, motivation and self-belief.
Toxic relationships start earlier than most realize. According to attachment theory, in the first two years infants are attuned to forming close bonds with caregivers, and for the first five years children respond to their caregivers’ emotional cues. Without supportive, loving caregivers from both parents, later relationships rest on a shaky foundation. Repairing it means going back to the beginning, which is a lot of work, but it helps you spot who is genuine, be vulnerable with good people and walk away from unhealthy ones.
Not being conventionally attractive is also an obstacle. The narrator cites fMRI studies showing attractive faces activate the brain’s reward circuits, and the halo effect, where attractive people are assumed to have talent, kindness and intelligence. Research it cites shows less attractive people get fewer job offers and earn less, a beauty premium and a plainness penalty. Those who are not conventionally attractive are likelier to be teased as children and have to develop a great personality early, which takes self-awareness.
Many obstacles are built into systems, not into you.
7 to 9. People and perspective
Being surrounded by unsupportive people is subtler than toxic relationships. It can be a parent commenting on your weight or results, or a friend making joking remarks in front of others that raise the hair on your arms. They do not sabotage you directly, but they get into your head. When a comment puts you on alert, with a quickened breath, wide eyes and a rushing sound in your ears, the script says that is your unconscious brain flagging a threat, and you should listen.
Too much self-awareness about how society works is the next one. The author describes three positions: not knowing how things work and living happily, knowing how they work and playing the game for some peace, or knowing and wanting no part of it, believing everything is about money and power. That third path makes you a nihilist. Life has nuance, and the script’s warning is that if you reject everything you will stand alone with nothing.
Social awkwardness and anxiety grow the more you are aware of them. After covid isolation, social people became scared of big groups. Some used exposure to return to normal, while others chose to stay in, which is fine until your capacity shrinks so much that an interview with more than one person brings a panic attack. Awkwardness that starts in childhood builds, and since networking and relationships matter, you have to take intentional steps to get good at it.
If you reject everything, you stand alone with nothing.
10 to 12. Success pressure, pleasing others, passion
Being the most successful person in your family can look like a good problem, but responsibilities grow with success. You want to give back, and the pressure of family livelihoods starts to rest on you. The host mentions Black Tax, the financial support successful Black people are expected to give extended family, covering living costs, schooling and basic needs. It says this can happen across all races and countries but is common in Black communities because of historical economic disparities. It delays milestones, cuts savings and investment, limits career choices and creates stress, yet the script says there is only one path: no family left in the dust.
Being a people pleaser grows exponentially. Compliments fire the brain’s reward centers like a high score on a carnival boxing machine, and soon you fear letting anyone down. You stay in a job you hate, or a relationship that makes you unhappy, and do whatever anyone asks. You become so enmeshed with what others want that you lose track of what you want, which blocks living authentically.
Not understanding your passion is the last in this group. Whether everyone has a clear passion is debatable, and some people have many. Interests change over time, so the point is understanding your passion rather than finding it. You will not feel successful until you do something you at least enjoy, and a changing passion is normal.
It is not about finding your passion. It is about understanding it.
13 to 15. Health and loss
Mental health issues are frustrating because you feel you should be fine, like a car in perfect condition that will not start. Everyone has days of low motivation, but for many it fades after a night’s rest. When it does not, every day is a fight with your own mind, made harder by poor focus, constant tiredness and withdrawal just when you need people. Alux notes that better understanding today also leaves friends, family and colleagues confused and frustrated.
Physical health issues are one of the biggest obstacles to success, and the script says nobody understands them unless they have lived them. They may be present from birth or arrive later, visible or invisible like chronic pain. People do excel, because brains adapt when there is predictability to treatment and visits. As with every item on the list, the level determines the size of the obstacle.
The sudden loss of a loved one changes how people move through the world, with detachment and a deeper appreciation of life. The presenter says the brain treats physical and emotional pain similarly, so emotional pain can feel intensely physical, and it also describes a cognitive dissonance between the world as it was and the new reality. The world goes on as normal and we are expected to as well. The only thing to do, the script says, is give yourself grace and time.
With health and loss, give yourself grace and time.
Bonus: build discipline to create motivation
The bonus obstacle is lacking the discipline to create motivation. The team defines discipline as pursuing what you think is right despite temptations to abandon it. Genetics, family, culture and education shape it, but if you did not get that structure, you can train it.
Start with very small goals, and if you fail, make them smaller. Practice small acts of self-control, let the voice saying no get a little louder, and build routines that make productive habits easier. The narrator says it is possible to go from low discipline to exceptional discipline in about a year.
FAQ
What are the biggest obstacles in life?
The video lists 15, including being born poor or in a low-income country, growing up too fast, the school system, toxic relationships, unsupportive people, people pleasing, health issues and the sudden loss of a loved one.
Why can growing up too quickly be an obstacle?
According to the video, the brain develops at a set pace. Accelerated growth can leave you without the risk-taking thrill that helps you let go of the fear of failure.
Why is people pleasing a problem?
The video says compliments reward the brain, so you want more and fear letting people down. You may stay in a job or relationship you dislike and lose track of what you want.
Is it necessary to find your one passion?
The video says it is not about finding a passion but understanding it. Interests change over time, and you will not feel successful until you do something you at least enjoy.
Can you build discipline if you never had it?
Yes. The video suggests starting with tiny goals, making them smaller if you fail, practicing small acts of self-control and building routines, and says a year can take you from low to exceptional discipline.
Keep reading
- 15 Ridiculous Things Rich People Have to Explain to Poor People
- 15 Unfair Advantages Rich People Have
- 15 Life-Changing Biographies of Successful People
