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15 Things You Should Know About Yourself (if You Want to Win at Life)

2 August 2020

What do you need to know about yourself if you want to make it in life?!

In our quest to help you figure out more about yourself, about where you’re going and how to get there, we made the choice that today’s piece should be about: YOU, the Aluxer.

This might just be the most valuable video we’ve made..

We’re all struggling with breakthroughs, maybe you feel stuck, maybe you think things aren’t changing fast enough or feel overwhelmed and stressed all the time. Honestly, all these feelings are the result of a mismanagement of self.

You can’t make the world better, until you make yourself better!

Which is why, today we’ll be focusing on YOU.

As we go through today’s video, grab a piece of paper and write down your own answers to each of our subtitles. By the end of it, a lot of answers will be revealed to you.

If you don’t feel like reading this 4000+ word post, you can always enjoy the video version here:

Here are 15 things you should know about yourself if you want to live a happy and fulfilling life!

1.

What do you want from life

“Tell me what you want what you really really want”- no really… What do you want from life?

Don’t give me a bullshit answer that society has taught you it’s politically correct to provide.. Take a couple of minutes if you need and play along.

When you look far ahead into your distant future where everything goes your way… what does it look like? Write it down in as much detail as you can.

Those who don’t know what they want, get what others are willing to give them!

2.

What your passion is

What can you do for hours and not notice time flying by? What gets you blood flowing just a tiny bit faster? What ignites a flame inside of you when you see other people doing?

That’s you passion! Believe it or not, people go through life without ever asking themselves: What am i really passionate about?

These people end up living cardboard lives.. They’re that neighbour you never talk to.. The one blending in with the background.. The one who never has a story to tell… the one who never did anything worth mentioning..

If we only get one life, why not indulge your passion a little?

3.

What your strengths are

Apart from your passion, there are some things you’re really good at or at least better than most people around you.

Have you ever thought about your strengths? You’re likely to have more than 1, so let’s try to find 3 of them.

Since this is probably taking you a little time, we’re here to help:

Your strengths are you those things you can consistently and reliably do well. You might not think that they’re amazing, but others do. So here are a couple of questions that help you identify your strengths:

  • What’s the last problem you successfully solved?
  • What’s one instance where people complimented you on the way you did things?
  • What do your friends like about you?
  • What do other people come to me for help with?
  • Out of your friend or peer group, what are the things you’re better at than they are?

Keep asking these kind of questions until you’re able to identify your 3 strengths.

Are you done? Good.

These 3 things are your best bet to getting the life you mentioned at the number one on this list. 

If you’re able to combine these 3 strengths with the passion we discussed at number 2, you can get your number 1.  By now you should be realising that by the end of this video you’ll end up with a game plan for your life.

This is fun isn’t it?

4.

What your weaknesses are

Everyone should know what they’re bad at.. Honestly. Do not let your arrogance skew your perception of self; at the end of the day, you’re doing this for yourself and we won’t tell anyone!

The same as with the strengths, let’s shoot for 3 shall we? Write down 3 weaknesses you know about yourself.

To help you identify your weaknesses, here are some helping questions:

  • What activities do you think are boring? Why do you think that?
  • What activities do you find Hard or Difficult?
  • What drains your energy the quickest?
  • What do you usually need help with?
  • In the past what are some projects you couldn’t wait to get them done so you could go back to what you really love doing?

Dig and keep digging, until you have a good and honest understanding of them.

Once you do, you’re golden. Your job will be to find people who are good at the things you listed here and hire or partner with them to do it on your behalf. 

While in school, if you failed Spanish, your parents would get you a Spanish tutor, in life we don’t waste time trying to improve our weaknesses, we outsource them and go all in on our strengths. 

Why? Because it will take effort, money and time for you to be mediocre at these things and mediocrity won’t get you the life we discussed at number 1.

5.

What your core values are

Everywhere you look, people talk about VALUES. Hire based on value, find a life partner who shares your values, but almost nobody has a clear idea what values are, if you have to choose from a list… who makes the value list anyway?!

That’s why we’re here to help you with this, because it’s taken us a lot longer to figure out.

When someone asks you what are your values, you probably quickly google search and pick the ones you recognise.. We’ve been there, but “Honesty” and “loyalty” are bullshit answers and we don’t plan to let you get away with it, this isn’t a participation trophy type of thing.

In our experience, values act like Traffic lights in life. 

Values are basically decision filters!

Every decision you make will pass through these filters and determine if they get a green light or not.

All of us wish we were this perfect specimen who would never crack under pressure, but this is all a lie. We’re all deeply flawed by design, by how we were raised, by the environment we were raised in.. but you’re here because despite all of that, you want to be better. The fact that you make this choice shows one of your values. 

Truth be told, not all of you are disciplined, so don’t lie. You probably don’t work well with others, or have a hard time focusing… 

Come to think of it, we should probably do a video on VALUES alone sometime soon because this could take a while on its own and we ain’t got all day. Like this video right now if we should do it next week or the week after.

Values are the traits we find true within when evaluating ourselves. 

Do not confuse the things YOU VALUE, with your personal values. You might value having a light in your bathroom, but it doesn’t mean that’s what your values are.

6.

What makes you happy

This is one of those questions we always ask when we want to really get to know someone. It’s a hard question isn’t it? But aren’t you bored about talking about the weather or upcoming elections?

So now we’re asking you. What makes you happy, genuinely happy? When’s the last time you were really happy? You might remember an event, a place a situation, you might even have a clear picture of that very moment in your mind.. Instead of looking at the surface of that moment, ask yourself:

WHY were you happy then? What was happening within you that made you experience happiness?

Anyone who wishes to live a fulfilled life needs to understand what makes them happy. The more you dig into it, it’s not the dress that made you happy, it’s feeling noticed that did it. It’s not the wedding, the food or the flowers that did it, it’s knowing that you have someone you trust, you you can care for and will care for you for the rest of your life..

Find the WHY in happiness!

And your future will be designed accordingly.

For those of you struggling with this, we’re recommending the following book: SOLVE for HAPPY by Mo Gawdat. We love it, because we’re kinda technical and geeky ourselves, so the approach of an engineer was something that clicked with us. We’ll link the book in the description or as you know by now, you can go to alux.com/freebook and if this is the first time you sign up, our friends at audible will allow you to listen to the audio version for free. 

7.

What you’re willing to sacrifice to get what you want

We always said that we’ll keep it honest with you and the truth is:

Everything has a price! Are you willing to pay it?

We’re not talking money here, but you’re always trading something in exchange for something else.

In business -and life for that matter- we call this: OPPORTUNITY COST

Since we live in a world with limited resources, you have limited money, limited time, limited opportunities, every time you say YES to something, you’re indirectly saying NO to everything else you could be doing at that time with your resources.

Some people sacrifice family in order to get the money. That’s a brutal truth. We know extremely rich people who in the race for more monetary wealth have indirectly left their families behind. 

We know people who sacrificed health, for entertainment. Others sacrificed money for pleasure.

You might not be that far down the line, but life will always ask for a sacrifice. That’s what all those myths and legends were about. The Offering of Isaac is a great example for this. God asks Abraham to sacrifice his own son in exchange for wisdom and this element of sacrifice is in every single culture in one shape or form and they all say the same thing:

The bigger the sacrifice, the bigger the reward!

But pay close attention, for some sacrifices have too high of a price, the reward might not be really worth it. What are you willing to sacrifice? Once you know this, the path forward becomes clear.

8.

What gets you excited

You might confuse this with your passion, but that’s not it. You already know what your passion is, excitement comes from discovering opportunities for growth – whatever shape may it take.

Finding a new artist for example is exciting. Trying a new restaurant or recipe and finding out that you really love the food. 

Everyone wants to grow and when you find a path to do it, excitement builds up.

This is something you discover by trying out a bunch of things and once you realize there’s a formula to it, you’re hooked. 

You have to risk the bad experience, just so you don’t miss the really good one!

We’re excited to try new experiences, to meet people, to taste different kinds of food, to push the limits of our body and because we know this about ourselves, it makes it easy for us to plan for the future or know when to say YES to things.

You need excitement in your life, otherwise you’ll get this feeling of insufficiency… some of you definitely know what we’re talking about here.. At one point you notice that every day starts to look the same and you’re not loving your life.

This excitement question fixes this, so don’t disregard it.

9.

What makes you Lazy

Everybody is fighting laziness & procrastination and truth be told, most of you are losing the battle.. we’re calling you out. 

Here’s an important distinction you’re probably unaware of:

Do not confuse procrastination with laziness.

Procrastination = postponing important tasks for later by prioritizing more pleasurable activities.

Basically, you know you should be doing something, you have your objectives set, but instead of doing the hard work, you choose to push it into the future and enjoy yourself. 

Laziness on the other hand is quite different.  

Laziness = Not having any goals outside of your current reality to push towards. 

Lazy is when you disregard growth completely.

Why be healthy when you could eat potato chips?

Why learn to cook when you can order dominos?

Why go to the event when you can binge watch netflix?

Why improve your skills for a better job when you can just survive on your current salary?

You get the point..

The moment you understand what’s making you lazy, that’s the moment you can get on top of it.

Believe it or not, happiness comes from growth, from helping other people be happy and this doesn’t happen with your ass on the couch. 

Minimizing the traps of laziness in your life results in a higher quality of life, and not only that, you feel pride in your accomplishments, other people cheer you on when you’re doing things right.. 

You’re feeling lazy and demotivated because of a perpetual cycle, of low self-esteem -> not doing anything about it -> realize your life is sh*t -> which leads to even lower self esteem. 

10.

How strong you really are

Here’s the thing, 

No matter how hard your life has been so far, you’ve survived every challenge until today!

Truth be told, you’re pretty badass if you think about it. Going through the things you went through and still being on this path of improvement is not an easy task. 

Most people would’ve quit earlier on, but not you, so give yourself a pat on the back! Straighten your shoulders, take a big breath and let’s see how we can focus all the fire you feel inside of you to get you where you need to go!

Knowing that you have the power to overcome obstacles makes you less frightened by those coming your way. 

Last week we told you that:

Hardships are life’s way of finding out how bad you want it!

It’s unlikely that you’ve ever thought about life and your next actions through this kind of lens, which is why our first premium experience Mind Mastery is specifically focused on breaking down your beliefs and hand holding you through this change process.

The best vessel we’ve found to focus your mind, our actions and realize just how wrong you’ve had it, is meditation.. not the religious kind, but the one used by 4 out of 5 successful people to get an almost unfair advantage in life. 

Which is why we want to reward those of you who’ve made it here today.  Go to alux.com/meditation and use the promo code: ALUXER on checkout. You will get 25% OFF as a way for us to give back to those of you who really want it.

Remember:

Your life is cheap because you think investing in yourself is expensive!

11.

What environment works best for you

If you’re a plant, think of your current reality as a soil. 

The same seed can grow faster in some environments and starve in others.

This is crucial if you want to fully develop. Most people do not realize just how limiting their environment is to their own trajectory in life. 

Here’s the amazing part: unlike the seed of a tree, you have the power to control your environment.

You can either improve the current one, by optimizing it for growth, or simply relocate to more fertile ground. Although it may sound hard and riski, think of the alternative.. You can probably tell where your life is going if you don’t make the change and if that’s not the outcome you’re looking for, why not risk it?

Figure out what kind of environment works best for you! 

12.

What kind of people you vibe with

Your environment is split into 2 parts, it’s the actual location, the opportunities provided by the geography, the tools you have within reach, the room you work in… and there’s the other side made by the people around you.

You want to be better? Find people that make you better!

Find people who challenge you. Find people who support you! 

Ready for some truth?

Find people who you enjoy being around, not because they’re below you and their insufficiency makes you feel ahead.. You’re not in a race with them, you’re in a race trying to catch up to your potential self.

The circle has more value than the sum of its members!

When we come together with the people in our circle, our value expands exponentially, we can bounce ideas, connections, goals and strategies that none of us could come up on our own. It’s the combination of good creative vibes and life experience that opens doors none of us knew where there.

The moment you realize what kind of people you vibe with, it’s super easy to avoid those who are toxic to your growth, very much like you remove the weeds next to a seed to give it the best chance of growth. Do that to your life!

13.

How to self-motivate

If you’ve made it this far down the list with your actions, it’s all about getting that extra edge on top of everyone else. This is where your ability to self-motivate comes into play.

Self-Motivation is like Magic: It gets you results other people can’t get!

Self-motivation comes from 2 things:

  1. Your ability to determine and organize small action which long term lead to big results
  2. Your ability to harness your inner hunger to overcome laziness.

Here’s the secret to self-motivation: These 2 need to happen at the same time, or else nothing gets done.

A common mistake people make is that they believe you need to knock it out of the park every single day and that’s a standard nobody can live up to, so they quit.

Instead, think of the minimum amount of work you could get done that’s still enough to push the needle just a bit more and do that every single day.

Some days, you’ll see that motivation strikes and you’ll make more progress than in others, but Success is made in the off days!

You want to win a championship, train in the off-season.

Do not neglect the importance of having a clear course of action. Know exactly what small action you need to take and make it easy for you to get started. 

You win the day when you get sh*t done despite not being motivated!

Here’s a video on self-discipline which will take this a step further and we can’t recommend it enough:

14.

How far you’ve come in your journey & how much more you have to go

If you want to win at life, you need to know where the finish line is, otherwise you’ll keep running until you run out of life.

Every mountain seems like a hard and overwhelming climb, but you’re not going to get to the top in 1 single step, yet that’s how people expect life to be!

“What’s the secret to making money fast… what pill can i take to have a six pack, is there a product I can buy… if there a guru that can teach me the mystical arts that have been kept away from me?” 

You’re delusional if that’s what your expectation of success is.

We’ve been to plenty of events, the likes of $10,000 a weekend retreat with gurus and motivational speakers in the past.. And frankly, they’re all pedaling a bunch of “find your inner strength” bullshit. 

True valuable information should be free. 

This single video, with the structure and the information you’re getting has more value than a week long seminar and we’re here giving it to you for free just to show you that it’s YOU who’s keeping yourself from breaking through, it’s not your lack of valuable insider knowledge.

You have the information, but you’re not putting it to practice. 

How far have you come? How far do you still have to go?

You can not improve what you do not measure!

You want to lose weight, every morning put yourself on a scale and write down the result. In 2 weeks you’ll figure out on your own which days you’re dropping weight and what’s happening when you’re putting it back on. 

You want to earn more, write down how much you made and what did you do to make that money. Pretty soon you’ll figure out where your attention should go to and how you can increase your income. 

We began the list with your dream life, if you’re marking your progress it isn’t hard to figure out just how long it will probably take to get there. 

Our entire philosophy is to give you guys everything for free and once you do get the results maybe you’ll consider supporting us by buying one of our products or at least sharing our content with

15.

The difference between how you see yourself and how the world sees you

The last thing on your list has to do with holding yourself to the higher standards you hold others.

This specific one can be quite tricky, because you see.. 

We judge ourselves based on our intent and other by their actions!

We love giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt, that we mean well, we all think of ourselves as good people. Well… allow your actions to prove it.

Who are you when no-one’s looking?

When you’re alone, when you go to bed at night and your brain starts firing up; are you happy? Are you proud? Are you satisfied? Hopefully yes! If not, this item right here should be added to your number 1 item on this list.

Because this was quite a big list, we believe it’s important to have sort of a summary at the end.

RECAP:

In order to win at life, one needs to know what he wants from life. Write down to the detail the life you want to live.

The quickest way to get it, is to identify your passion and find a way to monetize it.

In order to do that, you need to know your strengths, this is what you’ll focus on to push your reality further.

You won’t be off to the races just yet, once you identify your weaknesses, hire people to fill those gaps for you.

If you have your values straight, it won’t be hard to make decisions that help you close the gap towards happiness, but you know it’s not easy and everything has a price, good thing you know what you’re willing to sacrifice to get this life you want.

The excitement of life will drive you further and a bit of smart tactics can stop you from being lazy.

You’ve been through so much in your life that you’re stronger than you think, through meditation focus that mind of yours towards action.

Start with your immediate environment, either change it or move somewhere else. In the process of cleaning your environment you will leave some people behind and make better friends, the kind that help you progress.

Although they’re there for you, when you wake up in the morning it’s up to you if you’re going to conquer the day, but now you know that the little things add up to big results. You’ve measured your progress and are definitely not going to throw it away.

Lastly, you’re going to hold yourself accountable, maybe even more so than you do others and this is how you’re going to get to that life you wrote down in the beginning.

We really hope you not only took notes, but also answered these questions for yourself. You spent over 20 minutes, might as well get the most value out of it.

Which makes us really interested in knowing: Which of these was a game-changer for you? Which one lit up that lightbulb inside your mind with an AHA moment? If we did, write it in the comments!