If You Don’t Want to End up Being Miserable, There Are a Few Things You Should Avoid Doing. Find Out.
There is no universal list of circumstances that makes a person miserable. People from all walks of life, no matter how rich or poor, single or married, young or old can be miserable. What is certain is that all miserable people display many of the same habits.
To avoid getting into this miserable funk, let’s take a look at 15 Habits of Miserable people so you can avoid making them.
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An article this long can make anyone miserable and bored. Skip it and switch out to the video version of this article.
With that done, let’s get back to the article.
They Feed the Unhappiness
Misery likes company, so anything that affirms what a miserable and terrible place the world is will attract them. From Newsfeeds to news media, they will find negative opinions that prove their view that being miserable is the only practical outcome.
Instead of focusing on the 30 people who were saved from a sinking ship, they will focus on the one person who was bitten by a shark and use it to prove the fact that they were always right, the ocean isn’t safe and should be avoided.
They Are Never Fully Satisfied
They complain a lot! Going on holiday or to a meal with a miserable person is the worst. The meal is never the right temperature, and the room is never in the right position. They land a dream job, and there are still complaints. When they get a raise, they still don’t have enough money. In the end it just becomes tiring, and friendships fade because they are just too painful to be around.
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They Live In the past…or Future
Miserable people are rarely living in the present. They are either over glorifying years past or vilifying it and blaming it for the present. They also give the future a similar priority over the present. Either the future holds the key to all happiness, or the future is to be dreaded and meaningless because everything is going downhill since the glorious past.
They Don’t Celebrate Others
They are often too proud to admit they are outright envious, but miserable people will always find a way to discount someone’s success. They fail to drum up the usual happiness or cause to celebrate a peer’s success, and rather begin listing off the pitfalls and what could go wrong in great detail.
Is this sounding familiar? You mention you got a promotion and are moving to Tokyo, and your miserable colleague starts rapping off all that’s wrong with Tokyo just to deflate your moment. Aluxers, they are just miserable.
They Aren’t Grateful
Even when fortune falls on the miserable person, they won’t be thankful. They will find a way to either explain how deserved the lucky break was, or alternatively turn it into a negative. When they get a new car and you congratulate them, the miserable person will then focus on how much maintenance and parking is costing them. They can turn any happy occasion into another downward spiral of negativity.
If you don’t want to end up like these people, start being grateful by checking out 15 Things to Be Grateful For.
They Are Bored Out of Their Minds
Miserable people lack an adventurous or curious nature, so they miss out on the wonder and joy of life. They don’t plan to meet up with new people, catch up with old friends or plan inspiring activities. They stick to their routine and don’t venture out of their comfort zone. You will find that TV watching and celebrity gossip is a big focus of the miserable person. Ironically, this drives a cycle of unhappiness even deeper.
If all this is feeling a little too familiar, then boost your happiness with some of the books on this list:
They Are Stingy
Miserable people don’t do things out of generosity, they do things out of personal gain. A “what’s in it for me” mentality if you will. Sadly, if you’re so busy looking after your own needs, you will never find true happiness. It is well documented that generosity and happiness are linked.
Guru Shantideva summarises it well: “All the happiness in the world stems from wanting others to be happy, and all the suffering in the world stems from wanting the self to be happy.”
They Are Always Ready to Pick a Fight
Miserable people wont back down from picking a fight with someone about something generally random or blown out of proportion. The worst part is they expect to always receive a response of complete agreement with their point of view and are completely appalled when the other person doesn’t respond with kindness and sympathy. When they don’t receive it, they circle back to victim status, a favourite position of the miserable… more on that coming up.
They Identify with Negative Mental Health
If a miserable person can get hold of a negative medical or mental diagnosis, they revel in it. This becomes an identity that they become absorbed in. We are not implying that these are not real medical conditions, however the manner that a miserable person deals with them or highlights them non-stop is not necessary. Instead of seeking solutions or ways to cope with their diagnosis, they use it as an excuse for poor behaviour or to take away personal responsibility.
They Acquire Things Instead of Happiness
Research proves that chasing things leads to disappointment rather than happiness. Not only can “things” never create lasting happiness, but many people also lose friends, family and lifestyle in the pursuit of these things.
We at Alux do love nice things, don’t get us wrong, but we’re under no illusion that they themselves will bring us happiness.
They Compare Themselves to Others
One sure fire way to misery is comparing yourself. You will never keep with the Joneses, and even if you do, there is no golden pot of happiness at the end of the rainbow. They are also often happy in the misfortunes of others and if they suffer a set back they feel its unfair if everyone doesn’t too.
Miserable people never feel grounded in their own achievements because they compare their success to everyone else, and that isn’t a stable foundation to measure from. The bottom line, you won’t find happiness in the company of jealousy and envy.
They Play Victim
Imagine going through your life and constantly believing you’re at the mercy of everyone. They are still blaming their second-grade teacher that they didn’t become a scientist, their school bully that they have anger issues, or a disability for total inability. Miserable people will always find a way to be the victim of circumstance. While everyone else has it lucky.
Shrugging off responsibility like this means that you’re never in control of your life, nor the outcome. But we’re getting to this nugget soon.
They Love Drama
If there is a family drama, or a conflict in the office you can be sure that miserable people will be all over it. Even when a situation has nothing to do with them, they will insert themselves right into the middle to be the kingpin of the drama. They love to take the stance that the whole word rests on their shoulders.
They Worry about Everything
Miserable people worry about things they can’t control. Worry is a comfortable place to swell for miserable people because it fans their fears and gives them something to hang onto in an often empty life. Worry is often unreasonable but miserable people aren’t able to listen to reason because this habit of worry has become part of their nature and they aren’t willing to change it.
If you feel your mind is a mine field of worry then listen up. We at Alux have created Mind Mastery, to help entrepreneurs and high achievers deal with the stress and anxiety caused by the overwhelming pressure of everyday life to find your own happy place. Go to alux.com/mindmastery and enrol now!
They Don’t Take Responsibility
Hand in hand with the victim mentality is not taking responsibility.
Every adult on the planet is responsible for themselves and their own happiness. Happiness is not something anyone can give you, and misery is not something anyone can take away for you.
Miserable people believe that “Life is out to get them” so they don’t take responsibility for mistakes. It’s near impossible to come to equitable solutions with someone who always has it worse than anyone else and is not at all responsible for their situation.
What trait of miserable people annoys you the most?