15 Painful Signs Your Partner Is No Longer In Love with You

13 May 2021

Love Is a Beautiful Feeling but Getting to Know Your Lover Doesn’t Love You Anymore, Is Not. Find Out How to Recognize the Signs.

Sometimes it’s an inkling, sometimes its clear as day, but when you start to get that feeling your partner is “just not in love with you anymore” its not a good time.

Here are 15 Painful Signs Your Partner is No Longer in Love With You.

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Reading this incredibly long article can be quite painful. Switch over to the more interesting video version of this article:

With that out of the way, let’s look at the first sign.


You’re Not Part of Their Plans (This Weekend or Long Term)

It’s a hard reality to face, but if you’re honest, when last did your partner include you in their weekend plans? When did they go out of their way to create activities or time for you to be together?

And more long term, when last did they discuss children or a new house that included you? If you haven’t been part of their plans, it can be a sign that they don’t see you in their future. It could also be the case of someone with a strong independent streak, and perhaps that can work for you both. But if it doesn’t, then find someone who will make you their plan A, B and C.


It’s All Physical

Let’s just say when you’re together the “bed is on fire”, or the couch, or the kitchen counter, or the elevator…okay let’s admit it, when you’re together its all physical… all the time. This can be a great sign, except when you’re looking for a relationship with some more gravy and vegetables to it than well…ahem…you know…meat.

If your partner turns any discussion you’re trying to have into a full “adult fun fest” then they might be avoiding a more emotionally intimate relationship with you, and perhaps the physical is all they want.

But the opposite scenario isn’t altogether better….


It’s Not Physical at All

If you try to initiate physical fun and your partner always has a headache or avoids the “hokey pokey” by suggesting a new series, there might be trouble in paradise. The truth is while a sex-free relationship can work for a small group of people, physical intimacy is what sets your partner relationship apart from your friendships.

Sex is how we connect on an intimate level and reconnect almost spiritually with them. There is nothing like a little roll in the hay to make all those irritating habits your partner has fade into the background.


They Don’t Have Time for Your Family or Friends

If your partner is avoiding joining family barbeques or attending your friend’s birthday party, it could mean they are moving on. It’s unlikely that your partner will want to forge firm friendships with your fam and friends if they aren’t in love with you and see themselves around long term.

They are probably avoiding awkwardness and being in every one of your Instagram pics. In some ways you can respect them for that, but it is time to acknowledge that it’s time to broach the subject with them and find someone you can confidently share events with.


They Are Easily Irritated by You

Do you feel like everything you do just seems to annoy your partner? Things that in the early days they found cute or endearing now make them explode at you? Then the love might have gone from the relationship, or perhaps its something else. But either way, its not normal to be a cause of irritation to the one you are sharing your life with.


They Don’t Ask You about Your Day (or Life)

Knowing what your partner had for lunch at work, or how their mothers rose garden is, doesn’t seem that important. But research by The Forum Journal has proved:  “couples build intimacy through hundreds of very ordinary, mundane moments in which they attempt to make emotional connections.”

If your partner isn’t asking you about YOUR ordinary or mundane parts of life, then the love might have run dry.

If you think you are struggling to get your partners attention, imagine being in a relationship with a billionaire when it doesn’t work out. Check out our video:


They’ve Stopped Committing to Future Plans with You

Perhaps you weren’t at the place of talking marriage or house buying yet, but if your partner has started being vague or shady around committing to travel plans for after graduation or after covid-travel bans lift, then that could be a sign they don’t really see you together at that point of time.

This can be hard to face, but it is better to get to the bottom of it now than lose money, time or both investing in something with someone you don’t share the same roadmap with.


They Are Distracted When They Are with You

If you never have your partners full attention when you are together, or they seem a bit bored or distracted then the truth is that you’re not their priority. An example of this is when you have to repeat yourself, a lot, when you to tell them a story or you ask a question. Or you get bored sounding u-huh’s, mhmm, right, kind of non-specific responses.

In her EliteDaily interview, bestselling author and relationship expert Susan Winter explains: “It’s just an acknowledgment to appease you, but you know they haven’t really listened to what you’ve said.


They Avoid Being Alone with You

Do you struggle to tie down your partner to one-on-one time? Do they always have a buddy around, or want to include friends in your date plans? All of these are signs that your partner is avoiding being alone with you. And while it is good to have a mix of group and couple activities, there needs to be a solid amount of just the two of you to call it a relationship.

This can also be in the form of screen time, endlessly thumbing through social feeds while you’re together, or always having the TV on to avoid conversation.

Avoidance is sometimes how people deal with tough situations; it might be time to ask your partner what they are avoiding? If it is you, then its time to find someone who wants to be with you. Trust that they’re out there.


Their Words Are Empty

There is ‘Love you’ and “IIIIII loooove youuuu”, and you know when someone says it and really means it, or its more of a habitual greeting. If you’ve started to feel the love drain from the words of your partner and be replaced with empty phrases, then you might be in a love wasteland.

Instead of overthinking it, trust your gut and sit down with your partner and take stock of where you are both at. Perhaps clearing the air will bring the passion back, or maybe its time to save your words for someone else.


They Don’t Really Care When You’re Out, or What You’re Doing

It’s nice to have your partner check in on you, we’re not talking about obsessive controlling checking, we’re talking about checking you got home safe. Or are still fine to drive when you’re out with friends. But if you don’t hear a thing from your partner, and they don’t care what you’re getting up to after work, then that’s not really caring for someone you love.


They Disrespect You, or Disregard You

It might not always be pure love and romance in a relationship, but one thing is non-negotiable, there should always be mutual respect. In fact, Psychology Today, lists respect as possibly more crucial in relationships than love.

If you feel like your very being is challenged, but not in an encouraging way, or your work ethic is questioned. Perhaps you feel that there isn’t a basic level of common decency, then these are all signs that your partner doesn’t respect you or disregards your good qualities.

No one’s got time to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect them, and it wont end well for either of you.


They Are Focused Solely on Themselves

When its just the two of you, who is your partners favourite person in the room? You or themselves? For a relationship to work really well, everything from ancient religion to pop-psychology believe that if you focus on the others needs before self, you will have a happy partnership.

It ultimately makes sense, because you won’t NEED to worry about your own needs, when you trust that the other person has your best interests at heart in the same way you have theirs at heart.

It’s only when their stressful schedule, or dietary needs, or tired feet are considered that you begin to see the cracks in the relationship show.

If you want to know the secrets behind a successful, long-lasting relationship, check out 10 Secrets that Make a Successful Relationship


They Prioritise Other People over You, Their Partner

If your partner is more concerned about hurting a colleague’s feelings to cancel dinner plans, than stay home and look after you when you’re truly sick, then you might not be their main priority.

Sure, there are some situations we must remain dedicated to and you can’t always drop them to be there for your partner. However, if you’re not a needy partner and yet your needs are never prioritised, then your partner might have checked their love at the door.

It’s healthy to prioritise your partner over anyone, even your own kids. The truth is that a healthy partnership leads to a happy home, and your kids will benefit more from that in the long run.


They Are Gone…All the Time

It’s pretty hard to have a relationship with someone when you can’t be with them. We’re not knocking long distance relationships; some people can make those work really well with some good scheduling and prioritising.

What we’re talking about is that your partner is always out, working late, joining clubs or sports teams, taking on DIY projects for friends, or endless “work events” taking them out the house without you.

For the most part, someone who loves you will want to be with you. They will include you no matter what they’re doing, even if it’s helping move a friend’s couch or going to a boring work event. And they’ll have a healthy balance of saying no to make time for you in their life.


When did you know a relationship was over? What were the signs?