15 Signs You’re a Narcissist

6 January 2021

This Test Is Worth a Go Because No Narcissist Thinks That They’re a Narcissist – Here Are 15 Signs You Might Be One

Anything you can do; I can do better. Lyrics from Annie Get Your Gun and the perfect accompaniment for you, if you’re a narcissist.

In your life there’s space for “me, myself and I,” and sulking is the norm when things don’t go your way.

If this is sounding like you, Aluxers, it’s time to see what other signs might indicate that you’re a narcissist.

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Only a narcissist would read out a huge article about himself. Switch to a fun YouTube upload instead.

With that said, let’s get to the first sign.


You “Know” You’re Better Than Everybody Else

Narcissism 101 – you’re always better than everybody else around you. In fact, your head is so far up your own ass, it’s amazing that you’re still able to breathe.

Narcissists don’t even realize it, but their behavior affects 158-million people in the US alone. That’s a 158-million people that are subjected to the often cruel, derogatory, treatment of a narcissist.

1 in 200 people are narcissists according to therecoveryvillage.com. Are you one of those Aluxers? Let’s continue to highlight some more characteristics to discover if you are.


Your Experiences Are Far Superior to Others

You’ll know you’re a narcissist if this exchange sounds familiar.

Someone is telling you a story about how their dog choked on a chicken bone and had to be taken to the vet for an emergency operation. Next minute you’re chiming in stating, “that’s nothing… my dog once swallowed a live chicken, feathers and all, and had to be in surgery for 14-hours to remove the chicken.”

Far-fetched, probably not true, and total one-upping of the story they just heard.

If someone travelled to the Cayman Islands for vacation, the narcissist has not only done the Cayman Islands, but also Ko Lipe, Saint Lucia and the Azores. Show off!


If Bad Things Happen It’s Never Your Fault

You’re perfect after all, so when the sh*t hits the fan, how could it possibly be your fault? Time to dust off those finger guns and start pointing at every Tom, Dick and Harry, because you’re not going down for this.

You’re not to blame. It’s them. You don’t need to take responsibility and you sure as hell don’t need to shoulder the blame!


You’re Far Too Important to Do “Menial” Tasks

Isn’t that what mother’s, partners, or hired help is for? You’re the main man, things get done, but not by you. Cooking, cleaning, ironing, washing, sweeping… you must be joking, those tasks would ruin your silky-smooth hands, and definitely do not align with your superior self.

It’s confirmed that 75% of narcissists are men. Delve into history and you’ll see some big names of narcissists – Alexander the Great, Henry VIII (8), Napoleon Bonaparte, and Adolf Hitler.

Bringing it closer to home – Kanye West and Kim Kardashian – perhaps two narcissistic personalities are just never meant to last. But you can be assured, that neither Kim K or Kanye did any task deemed inferior to their status.


You’re Better at Everything

Aluxers, narcissists have an over-inflated sense of self-importance and will always exaggerate their talents and achievements.

You’re a faster runner, a better singer, a whizz in the kitchen and and and… you’re the whole damn package, naturally.

It’s believed that this kind of behavior stems from childhood already, where parents have praised their children for their external achievements as opposed to their internal ones.

Saying things like, “you’re so beautiful,” and “you’re the fastest runner in your class,” … even though it’s not true, all contribute to this kind of personality. Instead, children should be praised for being kind, helpful, resilient and so forth.


You Hate Losing

You don’t even know how to spell the word, and it’s definitely not part of your vocabulary. Losing, is for losers… and if you’re a narcissist, you’re certainly not a loser.

If there is something that a narcissist knows he or she is unable to do, they’ll just make up some excuse as to why they’re unable to partake in that activity or why they lost… remember those finger guns, well they’ll be out smoking if the narcissist loses.

The umpire was biased, sun was in the eyes, someone dropped a crisp and they lost their focus. Narcissists will never, ever lose graciously.


It’s Always Your Turn to Speak

In fact, you bulldoze every conversation. You do that because whatever someone else is saying is of little importance anyway.

Your story is much better, more interesting, and should take center place in the conversation.

A narcissist will also never directly say yes or no to a question. They are masters of the indirect answer, removing the value of the person asking the question. They do this so that the answer is formulated in such a way that would suit them better, make them look smarter and take credit for something they didn’t actually do.


You Speak Down to Others

Condescending is the frame-work of your conversation with others. You seem to feel this inherent need to speak down to others because they are surely too stupid to understand what you’re explaining anyway; so you speak louder, you dumb it down and you speak slower.

This kind of behavior smacks with ego and drips with sarcasm.

We’ll soon share the result of this kind of behavior, but first let’s delve into the narcissist and empathy.


Empathy Is Not in Your Vocabulary

According to you, poor people are poor because they don’t work hard enough, everyone has the same opportunities to get where you are, and you don’t know why homeless people won’t just get a job.

In short, you’re an asshole, but in more technical terms you lack basic empathy. That is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and feel compassion for them, even hazard some generosity to make their life a little easier.

It’s the ability and the motivation to consider what other people might be thinking or feeling, and have the perspective it takes to understand other people’s feelings and needs. If this sounds like a bunch of hog-wash and you believe anyone can know what someone else is feeling then boom! You just won ninja level narcissist.


Your Attitude Can Turn on a Dime

You ooze charm, you drip confidence, have all the jokes and always have a long story to tell no matter the topic. Narcissist’s are generally well liked, well that’s at first.

When someone’s on your good side they’re on top of the world, but if they happen to cross you, then all hell breaks loose. More on this Narcissist tendency to blow a fuse later. For now, let’s stick with these polar opposite experiences many people have of you.

If you’re a natural charmer, but you know that none of it is genuine and more to get what you want then you’re in narcissism territory. In case you need more confirmation, you get instantly mean the moment you don’t get what you want. Congratulations – you won the narcissist jackpot, you’re a winner.


You’re Addicted to Something

Ah the common addiction, while the narcissist sees their crutch as a fun joke or some kind of secret social club that gives them complete uniqueness, the rest of us aren’t as charmed by your endless drunken binges, or shopping spree-poverty cycle.

Narcissists will tell you they are very passionate individuals, but what that really boils down to is addictive people. It’s always a new fad or a latest trend, or an insatiable appetite for something they think gives them status or “an edge”.


You Have No Genuine Friends

Have you heard yourself utter the words: Friends are for a reason or a season? Then you might be a narcissist. Friends aren’t a carton of milk; they don’t have an expiry date.  Sure, if you have toxic people in your life you have to purge, but we’re not talking about that.

Friendship is more than people to go to the pub with to fill time. Genuine friends are people who help you move house or paint your first apartment, who cry with you when you are disappointed, and share in your joy. If you’re just looking for someone to look cool with at the bar but don’t want to be involved in their “drama” then High-5 for you, you’re a narcissist.


Ironically You’re Exceptionally Insecure

If you want to bait a narcissist then compliment someone else. Nothing gets you to show your true insecure colors like when the focus shifts to someone else. If someone compliments another’s great hair, you will immediately try to swing the conversation to your perfect mane.

However, you do it, you struggle to share the lime-light and will always try to take the focus back to yourself showing just how fragile and insecure you actually are.

How else can insecurities be ironic? Well, here are 10 Celebrities Who Don’t Like The Way They Look.


You Have a Short Fuse

Narcissist don’t suffer fools, and in their opinion, everyone is a fool!

That means that it doesn’t take long to tick them off, and when that happens oh woe betide if you’re in the line of fire. A narcissist can go from nice to nasty AF in seconds flat the moment they don’t get their way. And when we mean nasty, we mean personal!

If you find it takes little to get on your last nerve before an explosion then you’re a narcissist straight up.


The Rules Don’t Apply to You – You’re Above Them

If you think that the rules were created for the idiots out there, and you’ve got this so you don’t need to follow them, then you’re a narcissist. In case we need to spell it out – rules only work if EVERYONE, narcissist you included, follows them! That means that if you’re a citizen of your country, then until the rules change, they are for you.

Or if you’re an employee, and you don’t like the rules where you work, then quit, because flouting the rules is so 2019. If you have a reasonable objection to a rule, and it doesn’t fall in the “because I don’t wanna” category, then why not take legitimate action to get it changed for the better of all?

That is what a non-narcissist would do.  A narcissist would jump the queue, ignore the stop sign and always take liberties that suit them at the expense of everyone in the system, and then complain that the system doesn’t produce a working society that satisfies their needs.  No points for intelligence there, narcissist.


Having read this list Aluxers, do you think you could be a narcissist? If so, what traits do you find you have? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.