When Was the Last Time You Had a Deep Conversation? Here Are 15 Profound Icebreaker Questions.
Aluxers, meeting and getting to know people doesn’t have to be a daunting prospect.
If you can steer clear of asking questions that don’t shut down dialogue and don’t require one-word answers, then you’ll be just fine.
Remember, people love to talk about themselves, so dig a little deeper to find out who they truly are. These questions are also great for couples, to gain insight, understanding and create a closer bond between you both.
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If reading is already enough ‘provoking of the thought’ for you, there’s a way to ease that out. Switch to the YouTube upload for this topic:
With that out of the way, let’s go soul searching together.
What Do You Believe Stands Between You and Complete Happiness?
We all have a wall that we’ve built up to protect ourselves, and often that wall is what’s holding us back from being truly happy.
We’re afraid of letting people in, trusting too much, or doing something that we believe others will judge us for. It’s not easy to let go of inhibitions, and just do what’s best for you – we understand. But asking such thought provoking questions will give you far greater insight to the person you’re with.
Perhaps their happiness is on par with what you’re seeking too, and you have someone to share the journey with. Remember, that happiness is a journey and not just the destination.
At What Point Are We Good Enough? When Will We Accept Ourselves Just as We Are?
Aluxers, on who’s grid are you deciding when you’re going to be “good enough?” Who has set the standard for you that you feel you need to live up to?
Was it a parent that wanted you to be a rugby player, or a ballet dancer – because that was their dream and they’re living it vicariously through you?
Was it a partner that wanted you to earn more money by doing a job you despise?
Or is it just your own thinking that is causing you mental turmoil?
Everyone has different reason for feeling not “good enough.” Always remember that there is more right with you, than wrong and shift your focus on the progress and how far you’ve come, as opposed to how far you still have to go.
Once you change your thinking, you will learn to value yourself so much more.
If You Had a Friend Who Spoke to You in the Same Way That You Speak to Yourself, How Long Would You Allow That Person to Be Your Friend?
Like we said in our video, 10 Ways to Restart Your Life, you become your rhetoric. “If you keep telling yourself you can’t do something… surprise – you won’ be able to do it. It’s time to start changing the way you speak to yourself in your head.
It’s not easy, but the moment you hear yourself saying something awful or discouraging, stop immediately and replace that thought with something positive.”
And we’re certain the answer to this question would be a resounding, “no.” We would not want to remain friends with someone that was constantly putting us down.
If You Can Go Back in Time, Would You Change Anything or Do It All the Same?
Aluxers, there is a time and place for general chit-chat. You’re not going to be standing in the line at Walmart asking the person in front of you any of these thought-provoking questions. Well, you could, but security might be there before you’ve finished asking the question, because it’s a little suspicious.
We love this question for its simplicity, and it gives you both an opportunity to answer it. It shows you trust the person you’re asking, and they in turn can trust you, as the answer to this question may be deeply personal and still have hurt and regret lingering with it.
What Is One Quality You Wish Every Human on Earth Possessed?
Sadly, many people find these sorts of attributes something to be proud of: How many people they’ve slept with, how they crooked the government out of tax money or how much does their latest car cost… but those mean nothing.
Honestly, humility, kindness, perseverance, selflessness, determination and a joy for life – are all qualities that will serve us so much better than the notches on our bedpost, the dirty money in our bank account or the cost of a fancy car.
We credit anonymous for these true words, “Being a good person does not depend on your religion, status in life, race, skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how you treat others.”
How Do You Give a Voice to the Voiceless?
Finding out what a person’s cause is, close to their heart, reveals a lot about their personality. For starters, if they don’t have any cause they’re interested in, it’s a good time to start getting them more actively involved in their community. Doing good is a great way to connect with people and to feel better about yourself! Such thought provoking questions are indeed empowering, not only for yourself but for people around you.
Otherwise, their passion could be working at the local animal shelter, raising money for the dogs and cats, or they love volunteering at a home for children with disabilities. Find out what makes them tick and you’ll uncover a side of their personality that you wouldn’t have, if you had merely said, “it’s another windy day, isn’t it?”
What Would You Like to Be Remembered For?
As cliché as some of these answers may sound, they’re the ones that crop up repetitively from people who have been asked this exact question. And what is admirable about the same answers being given, is that inherently, most people want to be kind, gracious, forgiving, and honest.
Sometimes we do lose our way a little bit, but if we can remind ourselves of how we want to be remembered, it will help us get ourselves back on track.
Author of Lessons Learned from The Path Less travelled, Zero Dean, once said “there’s no time like the present to start being the person you want to be remembered as.”
Who’s the One Person You Wish You Could Cut From Your Life but Are Too Afraid To?
Aluxers, we completely understand how difficult it is to cut toxic people from our lives. We are wrapped with guilt, fear and worry about what people will think.
It’s a topic where you’ll no doubt find common ground, as we’ve all had to acknowledge someone who is toxic in our lives and decide how to handle the situation. Asking thought provoking questions that will get you to analyze your bonding with people close to you is a good way of beginning to at least identify the problems.
We highly recommend the book, “Toxic Relationships” by Hope Utaram, which you can hear on audible.com using alux.com/freebook. Described as, “Understanding All Types of Toxicity Will Help You to Find Freedom. Learn to Set Guidelines with Parents and People. You Will Learn to Live a Much More Mentally Healthy Lifestyle.”
Give it a listen and then recommend it to the person you’re conversing with to help them out too.
What Life Lesson Do You Wish You Had Known When You Were Younger, but Only Figured Out With Age?
Having asked a friend this same question, she replied with “I wish I had not been such a drain on my parents.” When probed further, she explained it like this. “If I had just listened to my parents the first time, I wouldn’t have made them too tired to enjoy quality time with me.”
So, her desire would be to have done the simple things like hang up her towel, unpack her lunchbox after school and make her bed each morning. That way her parents wouldn’t have been fed up with nagging her all the time and spent time playing with her instead.
It’s a realisation that only comes with age. So, what do you with you had known when you were younger?
Who Would You Like to Say Sorry to and Why?
In the words of Justin Bieber, is it too late now to say sorry? Aluxers, is it ever too late to apologize? Perhaps not – but then you can’t expect the person to forgive you, for a start. The apology must come from the heart, and not because you feel guilted into doing it and you need to make the change and never do that indiscretion again.
Perhaps you need to apologize to a friend at school whom you bullied, or you cheated on a partner and haven’t made proper amends, perhaps you were awful to your parents, and just behaved like an entitled brat… we don’t know… but acknowledging where you went wrong and saying sorry is never a bad thing. Leave the ego behind and even if the person doesn’t accept the apology, walk away with your head held high. Ask yourself all the thought provoking questions that you need to figure out ways to say sorry to the right people.
Everything there is, is at times good to do but at times it becomes a loss. Here are 15 Things You Should NEVER Apologize For.
What Activity Do You Do That Makes You Lose Track of Time?
This is one of our favourites… it’s just a classier way of asking someone, “what’s your hobby?” What makes this question special is you understand how often it’s the most basic activities that make people so happy, that they lose track of time.
Playing with pets makes many completely lose track of time. Sticking your nose into a good book makes an hour seem like 5-minutes. Gardening from sunrise until you’re bursting with sweat because it’s midday and you didn’t even realize it or just hanging with your besties until one says, “Of my goodness, where did the time go?”
All of those moments cost nothing and mean the most to us.
What Would You Do Differently if You Weren’t Afraid of Being Judged?
Would you strut down the beach in a yellow polka dot bikini? Would you try surfing lessons, even though you know you’re going to fall off the board over and over again? What about heading to an art class to learn how to use watercolours?
What are you too afraid to do because you’re worried about what people will think of you? Here’s the thing, people are going to judge you no matter what, so you may as well do what you bloody well please.
As long as what you’re doing ties in beautifully with how you’d like to be remembered. Now people will remember you as “fearless”, “brave”, “unafraid,” and say things like “I wish I was more like that.”
Would You Break the Law to Help a Loved One?
Tough question this one, isn’t it? We’ve seen many examples of parents who break the law to help their children, or couples who lie and say they were with their partner, when they weren’t.
It happens all the time.
This is a question that will see a dinner table divided. So, throw it out there… and sit back and watch the action unfold. It will be far more entertaining than reading the conflicting comments on a pro or anti-vaccinator! Speaking of which, be sure to catch our video 15 Most Controversial Parenting Topics on our sister channel, New Parents!
Do You Believe Humans Are Progressing as a Race or Regressing and Why?
The jury is out on this one, and it will be an interesting conversation to have. Some might be 100% convinced that we are only moving forward. That we are better off than we were 50, 100 or 150-years ago.
Others will vehemently disagree, pulling in arguments like the amount of screen time people are having, the social media addictions, the lack of real-face time as opposed to screen face-time, and we can continue with this till we’re blue in the face.
Suffice to say, the question is thought provoking and there is no right or wrong answer… just don’t tell that to the person you’ve asked.
What Is the Lie You Tell Yourself Most Often?
I’m going to start leading a healthy lifestyle from tomorrow.
I am only going to drink on the weekends.
I don’t care what others think of me.
I’m so pathetic at math.
You know your own lies that you tell yourself on the daily. It’s time to change that rhetoric Aluxers and start dispelling some of the lies you’ve convinced yourself are truth. Like American writer, Richard Bach once said, “The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.”
What question on this list do you believe is the most thought-provoking? We value your input in the comments section.