The decisions you will not regret in 20 years are the ones that trade time for skill, remove debt, build on your strengths and keep you pushing past your comfort zone. This is the second part of an earlier video on decisions you will regret. Just as it is hard to see which bad decisions will play out badly over the long term, the reverse is also true: it can be difficult to recognise what a decade-defining decision looks like.
So here are 15 to look for, plus a bonus.
Watch the full video here, or skip to the breakdown below.
The 15 decisions at a glance
- Spending time when you can’t spend money (0:25)
- Figuring out who you are, and being that person (1:30)
- Getting a hard skill over a soft skill (2:52)
- Living closer to the uncomfortable line (4:11)
- Finding your strengths and doubling down on them (5:08)
- Moving to a place with more opportunities (6:06)
- Building legacy over trends (6:48)
- Choosing the right person (7:14)
- Getting rid of any kind of debt (7:44)
- Solving money early (8:09)
- Doing things you think you are not capable of (8:34)
- Sacrificing the right things (9:01)
- Recharging when your whole body tells you to (10:01)
- Looking forward rather than looking back (10:41)
- Getting stupid good at something (11:14)
1. Spending time when you can’t spend money
If you are born poor, the video says, your chance of ending up with a good life is around 5 to 10%, and for the States it quotes about 7.5%. Most people start with exactly zero dollars, and it stays that way for around 20 years, or goes negative once student debt is counted. After that it takes about a decade to stabilise financially.
That leaves a lot of time and very little disposable income. How you use the time is the most important decision of the period, because it can set you up for life. The best use is to trade it for skill, knowledge and experience, and the more you make that trade, the better your odds of landing in the 5 to 10%.
2. Figuring out who you are, and being that person
Nobody expects you to have it all figured out at a set age, but the sooner it happens the better. Knowing who you are and fully embracing it shields you from things that make you unhappy later, because you simply do not do what is out of character.
It takes courage and self-awareness. Being hard-headed is not a personality but a mask for not knowing who you are or fearing to show it.
Three elements shape you: people, places and things to do. The more variations of each you experience, the more your character is fleshed out, which is why people who travel a lot often seem to have stronger character.
3. Getting a hard skill over a soft skill
Some skills carry more value in the world than others, and that turns into higher earning power. Work splits into three categories.
- Core skills: you make the thing work. Engineers, programmers, entrepreneurs and architects create something palpable.
- Admin skills: you keep the thing working. Managers, coordinators and leaders make sure it runs smoothly.
- Personnel: everyone from the gas station employee to the barista, who are the lowest paid and easiest to replace.
All three have to exist, but you are not here to keep the whole world running smoothly. The best skill to get is the one with the highest return.
4. Living closer to the uncomfortable line
Real growth happens at the very edge of discomfort, and you need a little pressure for it. Think back to your past wins: none was a walk in the park, and you got through because you tolerated the pressure. That is why hard-fought victories feel so good.
For most people even that bit of pressure is too much, so they stay safe. But you cannot out-comfort the uncomfortable. Things will always feel a bit shaky, and the secret is getting comfortable with some uncertainty. People build things without being sure they will work.
5. Finding your strengths and doubling down on them
You have heard that hard work beats talent when talent does not work enough. So what happens when talent does work enough: it is impossible to outwork someone betting on their strengths, because they already have a competitive advantage.
You can only get good at so many things in your life, so why pick the ones that come hardest? Unless you have a burning passion for them, it does not fully make sense.
6. Moving to a place with more opportunities
People think the internet solved location, but connections are made face to face, not screen to screen. It pays to be physically where things happen, at least until you are the one making things happen.
Social media, the argument goes, is mostly ego display rather than connection. Moving somewhere better opens your mind to a new way of living and thinking, which you cannot get from your bedroom.
7. Building legacy over trends
True craftsmanship comes from doing something for a really long time, and there is no way around that. A good foundation carries across industries.
When things change every year, the ones who keep thriving are those who focus on getting better at what they do, not those chasing what is popular. Things go out of style when nobody good at them is left.
8. Choosing the right person
In theory this decision lasts a lifetime, and it has one of the biggest effects on your life whether or not you notice. Who you spend your days with shapes how you live them, and you slowly become a slightly different person.
With the right choice you become a better one. The effect only becomes clear after a couple of years.
9. Getting rid of any kind of debt
Debt is modern-day slavery, in the video’s words, because somebody else owns your future money. Most people should stay away from it as much as they can.
If that is not possible, the next best move is to put all your energy into clearing it.
10. Solving money early
The best time to start solving money was yesterday. It takes a lot of time, and it gets harder with age if you have not started. The presenters admit they may be biased, but solving money was their number one priority for the longest time.
11. Doing things you think you are not capable of
You have two limits: the one you hold in your head and your actual one, and there is usually a huge gap between them. Something seems impossible until somebody does it.
You will not know your limits until you test them, and the good news is that they are not fixed.
12. Sacrificing the right things
You can do anything, but not everything. Every morning brings a few decisions and thousands of opportunity costs. What if you learn programming, hit the gym instead of the pub, invest $100 a week for ten years, quit your job to volunteer, or do none of it?
Each choice sends you in a totally different direction, and everything you do means thousands of things you do not. So a trade has to be made, and the best one gives up what holds no value for you in exchange for what does.
13. Recharging when your whole body tells you to
This is more obvious now that the presenters are past 30. Energy put into something has to be replenished. You cannot expect to be creative, motivated, disciplined and hard-working every day without a way to sustain that output.
Some find it through balance and others take time off. Either way, choosing to recharge when you need to is what lets you keep going.
14. Looking forward rather than looking back
From the presenters’ experience, one of the biggest factors in how well you do personally is how you position yourself mentally. If you trust yourself and your skills, you are statistically more likely to make it.
Setbacks hurt less, and you are more resilient and able to play long enough to see the finish line. People with a great outlook usually have great lives.
15. Getting stupid good at something
This one is last because not many people get there, and it is a rewarding place to be. Something clicks in your brain when you make something great with your own hands.
You get a sense of calm and stillness looking at what you made, and it is as if the universe is acknowledging you.
Bonus: there is a difference between doing everything alone and betting everything on yourself.
The bonus: betting on yourself
Doing everything alone means believing you have everything you need. Betting everything on yourself means believing you can get everything you need. The difference is subtle, and it may be the best summary of the whole list.
FAQ
What decisions will you not regret in 20 years?
The list covers trading time for skill, knowing who you are, choosing a hard skill, living near discomfort, doubling down on strengths, moving to opportunity, building legacy, choosing the right person, clearing debt, solving money early, testing your limits, sacrificing the right things, recharging, looking forward and getting very good at something.
Why is a hard skill better than a soft skill?
Some skills carry more value and earn more. It splits work into core skills that create the product, admin skills that keep it running and personnel roles, which are the lowest paid and easiest to replace.
Is debt really bad?
Debt is described as modern-day slavery because somebody else owns your future money. It advises staying away from it, and clearing it with all your energy if you cannot.
How do you use your time when you have no money?
Trade it for skill, knowledge and experience. The video says that is the best use of time in your first financially unstable decades and improves your odds of a good life.
What is the difference between going alone and betting on yourself?
Doing everything alone means believing you have everything you need. Betting everything on yourself means believing you are able to get everything you need.
Keep reading
- 15 Hard Choices You Have to Make in Life!
- 15 Real Life Superpowers to Win in Business & Life
- Famous Widows’ Life Now and Then
