There’s No Pep Talk Better Than That of a Father. Here Are 15 Chunks of Good Fatherly Advice.
No matter who you are, no matter how well you are doing, or how hard done by you are feeling… it might be time to bask in a little fatherly advice. Not the kind on 16th birthday greeting cards about carrying a hanky for her and having a firm handshake, this is the stuff that hits you in the guts and gets you in the throat.
As usual we at Alux are here to bring you the truth, the real makoya of dad advice you might say.
So settle in for a heart to heart.
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If you would prefer listening to some advice rather than reading it, here’s all of it narrated with some fancy visuals:
With that out of the way, let’s jump straight into the first lit fatherly advice we have in our list.
Check Your Privilege
Wherever you fit in, there are plenty of privileges you probably enjoy that so many others don’t. The mere fact that you’re reading this online means that you have internet and a device, that’s a huge privilege.
Then perhaps you were born a particular skin colour, religion or in a certain country or at a particular time, all these things could offer you more without you asking for it. You received it by pure chance, not because you deserved it more than anyone else.
So, enjoy this stroke of luck, and acknowledge it for the advantage it gives you, and what a privilege that is. This kind of insight and humility will go a long way in making the world a better place.
Even Kings Fall
Even if you’re scrooge himself and believe you’re a total island, then listen up to the classical fatherly advice that “Even kings fall!” And if you don’t treat everyone with respect and kindness on your way through life, you might find yourself at the mercy of someone you screwed in your past.
Of course, that shouldn’t be your main motivation for not living your life like a total jerk! But if you lack personal motivation then I guess this one might help you remember.
Talent vs Hardwork
Talent makes learning a musical instrument or playing a new sport look easy. But power to the person who needs to put in the hard graft to get the same result. The runner that it “doesn’t come naturally to” deserves the recognition for making it into the league with the athlete with the natural talent. Be sure to give that person the recognition for their grit because they are competing against natural born talent.
Teach People How to Treat You
Whatever you allow will become the norm. If you allow people to treat you like sh*t, that’s just how they will treat you. Instead, treat yourself with dignity and respect. Don’t allow yourself to be pushed around or taken advantage of, make your thoughts known and give yourself credit where it’s due. This way you warrant the respect of others.
If you apologise when you did nothing wrong, let people cancel plans, flip flop on agreements and constantly back down on your opinion when you know it’s right, and always pick up the bill, then you’re setting yourself up to be seen as a doormat. And the only thing a doormat is good for … wiping your feet on.
On their deathbed, few people regret having missed an opportunity in their 20s to go skydiving. Almost no one regrets not climbing another volcano, and even less hanker after the time they missed watching the cup final match in their dying minutes.
The fatherly advice here is to understand the things people do regret. What most people regret is missed opportunities to be with their family and friends. To share everyday moments, celebrate birthdays, and be in the quiet company of relatives.
Treat every time with your family with sacredness, because at some point, it will be the last.
The reality is that you are the average of your 5 closest friends. If that shocks and horrifies you, then you need better friends. If that uplifts and inspires you, then you have done well kid. So, if you keep this in mind, you will always be aware that the company you keep is important.
Children learn from actions of the adults around them, don’t underestimate the importance of your role in this equation. If you want to show your children love, the best way is to show your partner love. So, teach your children love, we sure as hell need more love in this world.
Showing love is not always a free move though, displaying big love can sometimes cost big bucks. Find out How Much Does Love Cost Actually?
Take a Break, Superman
Dadvice is often thought of as all rah rah chest bump crush a can arg!
But the truth is that most Fathers will happily shed a tear in a sad moment. They will show how their heart breaks over the loss of their parents, or the family dog, or when their team loses. The fact of the matter is that no one has to be strong all the time.
All the pops of the world will attest and approve of this fatherly advice. Give yourself a break from holding it all together, and allow yourself to be a hot mess. Because there is nothing stronger than a person brought to tears, who can get up and carry on.
Life’s a Bitch
Yup, we said it. and your father probably would too. And he would be right: Life is not fair.
And while we’re dropping the truth bombs, here’s another: you won’t always get what you want.
It’s harsh, just like life, months with 31 days, and the sun since losing the ozone. But the other great truth is that it does work out as it should. And that’s all that you can rely on.
Forgive and Forget
We all mess up. It’s inevitable. Whether you forget an anniversary or bump a car in a parking lot, or lose your cool and ugly cry in the fitting room when trying on jeans that we swear are made for supermodels…or whatever. <voice artist note: escalates and escalates as examples become more specific until a beat pause and then a throwaway “whatever”.>
So, in that light, it’s important to forgive. Yourself and others. Because messing up is one of the great inevitabilities of life. it’s completely predictable that you will, and that others will too. So, be ready to forgive, and quick to forget so that we can all get the reset and restart we deserve for just being human.
A Million Tiny Things
If you have been missing out on the simple pleasures of cracking the spine of a book, or opening a fresh newspaper, or being first to comment on an Alux article…you know the joy of the simple things.
Because in reality when you look back, no matter how old you are, happiness isn’t made up of big things. It isn’t insta-worthy moments that make you happy. It’s warm cups of tea and cosy reads, throwing the ball for the dog and getting a crumpled paper ball in the bin in one throw. It’s a bird’s nest, a ladybird, an empty seat on the train, the smell of fresh bagels, Christmas lights and a lover’s smile. This fatherly advice is all about being sure you aren’t so focussed on swinging from big moment to big moment that you don’t miss the small pleasures happening every day on the ground.
In the Face of Routine, Find New Joys
When the doldrums of life get you down, turn once more to the wisdom of dadvice. In the day in day out of taking home the bacon, it’s up to you to find new joy. One thing is for sure, the responsibilities of life aren’t here to entertain you.
Some days you will need to dig deep to find a reason to not throw in the towel, leave the wife and kids and move to a hippie colony in Bermuda. It’s at these times you need to find new joys. To remember how much you love the kids. Bring your wife flowers and remind her she is number one. And enjoy the sound of the key sliding into the lock on the house you helped pay for.
Or if you’re single and you really can’t start the routine of going home to Netflix for one more minute, then get off the train at the next stop and try a coffee shop you’ve never been to. Or randomly find a nearby park and walk barefoot on the grass. Or drop in at a yoga or kickboxing class for the first time in your life. Because why not? Life’s too short to Netflix away…
Always Have a Plan B
In this fatherly advice, we aren’t suggesting you should plan to fail. But part of a great success plan is some room for contingencies. Great leaders have a solid amount of humility that should they fail they have some backup options up their sleeves. Go the course, see things through, but also know when to change direction. Never be so pig-headed as to think you won’t need to make some adjustments and perhaps change tack as you go. There’s only one OneDirection, the rest of us need to use all points of the compass to navigate life!
The Easiest Way Out, Is Through…Charity
If you can’t get out of your funk then forget about yourself. Yup, you heard me. Stop wallowing.
Maybe you are the lowest, unluckiest, most awful human on the planet. It’s highly unlikely if you think of the statistical possibilities, but give yourself the benefit of the doubt in this case.
So take your sad sorry self out the door or log online and do something for somebody else. Make a donation, send a shout out, refer someone, promote a business, give something away, donate your time or expertise, or lend an ear to someone lonely. Anybody, just somebody even more sorry than you.
You see the moment you do that you will naturally release feel good hormones, because humans are group animals and sharing and caring is part of our survival instinct. But you will also have automatically just proven yourself completely wrong. Because you can’t possibly be the worst, lowliest and saddest human on the planet if you were able to uplift someone else. So now that you’re’ the second worse off person on the planet you can now go on living your life in a world that’s a slightly better place thanks to you!
You’re Unique! Just Like Everyone Else
You’re probably heard that before. And it can seem pretty de-motivational, but the truth is that it’s pretty much the most exciting thought that exists. Old pops would probably put it a little less eloquently, probably along the lines of “Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time, just like you do.”
It’s a classic dad comment that still stands the test of time. Because however you look at it, it’s a fundamentally brilliant thought. No matter the money in your bank, the power you possess, or who you vote for, we all have more in common than not when it comes to our humanness.
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What is the best advice your dad gave you?
What is the fatherly advice you wish you had heard earlier?