Everything you do beyond staying alive is a game you chose to play, so the way to find one worth playing is to ask which game you are in and what winning it would look like. The video splits life into two kinds of games: one you are forced into and one you pick. Most stress and burnout, it argues, shows up when the second game gets harder or more intricate.
Below are the two basic rules of that framing, the two questions to put to yourself and the reason a vague wish is the most expensive way to play.
Watch the full video here, or skip to the breakdown below.
The idea at a glance
- The game you are forced to play
- The game you choose to play
- Question one: what game are you playing?
- What a named game does to your mindset
- Question two: what does winning look like?
- Picking games you cannot afford to waste
- Bonus: life punishes the vague wish
1. The game you are forced to play
Every living thing plays the game of being alive. Its rules are simple and mandatory: find food, find water, get warm and get some rest. They sit at the bottom of the pyramid of needs, and you cannot opt out. The moment you are born, you are playing.
In a complicated world these four needs can swallow nearly all of your time. If you have a device and an internet connection to read this, though, you have already won that game.
2. The game you choose to play
Once the basics are covered, everything on top of them is a game you picked. Nobody forces you to play it and nobody expects you to. It can take a million forms: career advancement, entertaining other people, entrepreneurship or building and raising a family.
The video notes that stress, anxiety and burnout usually appear when this second game gets harder or more intricate. That is why it suggests two questions every person should ask at some point.
3. Question one: what game are you playing?
You are playing a game nobody asked you to play. You can say society pushed you into the role, or that the things you want require it, but the choice was yours. Nobody forced you to shape your life the way it looks today.
Even people who say they play no game are playing one. They are the unnamed character, taking things as they come and not worrying much about any major problem. Look closely and you find fragments of games they take part in: the reliable friend, the mentor at work, the life of the party, the unreachable one, the lonely one, the broke one. Each is part of a game the person insists they are not playing.
Naming yours helps. Is it the mind-your-own-business-and-hope game, the I-hope-I-get-promoted-next-year game or the I-want-to-live-in-a-penthouse game?
Choosing not to play any game is a game in itself.
4. What a named game does to your mindset
Once you know which game you are in and have decided to play it on purpose, things bother you less. Alux uses entrepreneurship as the example. The general rules are well known: lots of hard work, most things fail and you need patience.
So when those situations arrive, you recognize them as the rules of the game you picked, not something that is happening to you in particular. Your demeanor changes. Failure is no longer a tragedy but one of the possible ways the game ends, and you feel disconnected enough that it does not drag you down.
That same view helps you decide which games to enter, because not every game is worth playing.
5. Question two: what does winning look like?
Asking this does two things. First, it transports you 10 to 20 years into the future, which can hit hard if you have never thought long term. Second, it forces you to face what you actually feel about the game you are playing. If your first reaction to imagining a win is a groan, you may be playing the wrong game.
The team compares it to flipping a coin in the air and noticing which side you hope for before it lands. For entrepreneurship, the answer is financial freedom. For a family person, a happy, healthy and loving family to do great things with.
For some games, though, winning can mean burnout, lost friendships and loneliness. It can mean chasing dead ends, becoming someone you are not or ending up with an empty life without passion or beauty. Write your answer in the comments, the creators say, if you are brave enough.
6. Picking games you cannot afford to waste
Maybe the career you chose is not for you. Maybe the end of the path you are walking holds nothing you care about. Or maybe you find you are playing the perfect game, one you enjoy and can see the finish of.
All of life, the video says, is a series of mini games you pick after the basic one. Some have big rewards and some none. Some make you a better person while others make you bitter, impatient and pessimistic. Some lead to financial freedom and others to staying broke.
You do not have time for too many of them, so be mindful about which ones you enter. Since opting out is itself a choice, you might as well play something you enjoy.
Bonus: life punishes the vague wish
The narrator closes with a line it attributes to Tim Ferriss: life punishes the vague wish and rewards the specific ask. The more specific and intentional you are about your game, the better your odds of winning it.
Life does not reward people who sit waiting for a brick with the secret code written on it to come through the window. And if you stay undecided, you may miss out on rewards and even be punished, since people will give you what they think you deserve if you do not ask for what you want.
Pick the game on purpose
Alux admits this is a deeper subject that will not land with everyone. For those it does reach, the practical step is small: name your game, picture the win and decide whether you still want it.
FAQ
What does it mean to find a life game worth playing?
It means choosing the goals you pursue on purpose instead of drifting into them. You should name your game and ask whether its win is something you actually want.
What are the two games in life?
One is the game of being alive, with four mandatory rules: find food, water, warmth and rest. The other is the game you choose after those are covered, such as a career, entrepreneurship or raising a family.
How do you know if you are playing the wrong game?
Imagine what winning looks like and notice your first reaction. If it is a groan, or if winning would mean burnout, loneliness or an empty life, you may be playing the wrong game.
Why does it help to name the game you are playing?
Once you see the rules, hard work and failure stop feeling personal. They become the normal rules of a game you picked, which changes how you handle setbacks.
What is the Tim Ferriss quote at the end of the video?
The team cites Tim Ferriss: life punishes the vague wish and rewards the specific ask. It uses the line to argue that being specific about your game raises your chance of winning.
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