Everyone Dreams of Having a Perfect Wedding. But Is Spending a Ton of Money to Achieve That Dream Worth It?
Saying “I do,” is one of the most momentous occasions of a person’s life. But when that “I do,” is attached to debt that could purchase a small home, we would much rather say, “let’s think about it.” Here are just 15 reasons why a luxury wedding is not worth the money.
Welcome to Alux.com – the place where future billionaires come to get inspired. If you’re not subscribed yet, you’re missing out.
Wedding stress can really get on your nerves sometimes. To chill out and relax, watch the entertaining video version of this article:
With that said, let’s continue with the article.
A Lavish Wedding Doesn’t Mean a Happy Marriage
It’s been proven the more money spent on a wedding, the shorter the marriage lasts.
Several studies have been done linking the cost of the marriage to divorce rate, and one done by economics professors Andrew Francis-Tan and Hugo M Mialon concluded that “weddings that cost less than $1,000 showed a significant decrease in the likelihood of divorce and weddings costing more than $20,000 increased the likelihood by 1.6 times in the sample of women.”
So, Aluxers, why take your chances? For longevity of marriage, a more affordable wedding instead of a luxury wedding might just be the answer. We highly recommend you watch our video, 15 REASONS Why 50 Percent of Marriages End in DIVORCE, before you say, “I do.”
Weddings Are Super Stressful
When we think of our “happily ever after,” we certainly don’t envision it beginning with anxiety, worry, and a sh*t ton of debt.
Sadly, that’s what happens when too much money is funnelled into a wedding, causing newly weds to begin their marriage with debt. According to a survey done by Zolaregistry.com, 96% of couples freak out about their wedding, with 40% of couples stating that wedding planning was “extremely stressful.”
This without a doubt should be the best day of your life… but it’s becoming the most stressful day of your life.
Take a breath and remember that the wedding is about you and your partner, and who cares if the shade of flower doesn’t match the sash around the chair 100%, nobody notices that stuff anyway. And those that do notice, are clearly not there for the right reasons.
Aluxers, we are here to offer you support in so many areas, including your big, special day – so be sure to subscribe to our channel for advice in other important areas too.
Expensive Weddings Are Not Necessarily More Beautiful
In fact, let’s be honest Aluxers… sometimes those lavish, luxury weddings with show off oozing from all aspects are just vulgar. They’re ostentatious and make guests feel uncomfortable.
In 2017, weddings cost on average $33,391 and high spenders going up to $105,000 and beyond for a select few. Couples are trying to go for the extraordinary, hiring magicians, Ferris wheels, Flights to private islands, musical performances, wine tastings and whatever your imagination and budget can afford.
Do all of those make for a more beautiful wedding, then for example, a beautiful barn, loads of fairy lights, fresh flowers and an intimate ceremony? Not at all.
We assure you, you’re not “missing out” if your budget doesn’t stretch to those luxuries.
Travel, Travel, Travel
Did we mention travel?
Take a look at the unnecessary expenses of a wedding and think about what you would rather do with that money.
- Paper invites – they’re going to get thrown away anyway. You’d be saving between $450 and $650 on average.
- Out of season flowers – they can cost so much more than in season flowers. According to brides.com – the average bouquet is between $150 and $350 and will increase dramatically with flowers not in season.
- Wedding cakes – opt for more affordable options like donuts, cupcakes, waffles or beautifully decorated macarons.
- Open bars – as temping as what this sounds, it’s a recipe for disaster for your pocket. Would you rather head to a new destination with the extra cash or watch your best man flirting with your mother-in-law?
Have a small wedding and use the extra to globetrot and create double the memories.
Still skeptical about choosing to travel instead of having a lavish wedding? Check out 15 Reasons Why You Should Travel the World.
Regardless of What You Spend, People Will Talk
Like Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”
So, whether you’re putting down $5,000 for a wedding, or the average of $33,000 or the extreme at $105,000 – there will always be someone that will talk and criticize it.
If you want to drive yourself to your own wedding to save the costs of hiring a limousine, please do it. And if you want to get your bestie to do your hair, don’t feel pressure to get it professionally done. You want to wear your most comfortable shoes that you can dance the night away? There is no explanation due for not buying specific bridal shoes.
And let them talk. Besides, they will see you so happy and having the best time, they’ll forget their petty sh*t and be part of the joy and happiness. In a nutshell, luxury weddings live for a petty amount of time and in petty minds only.
Enjoy a Down Payment for a House
We told you the average of a wedding, so let’s see how part of that money could be used as a down payment for a house.
A Federal Housing Administration (FHA) loan usually has a minimum down payment of 3.5% of the total cost of the property. So, if you were to purchase a property for $300,000 – you’d need to put down a $10,500 deposit.
If you had to choose between the down payment on a house, or the extra frivolities of a lavish wedding – what would you choose?
Mention the Word Wedding, and Prices Are Hiked Up
A sad but true fact is that the moment you attach the word “wedding” to the celebrations, the prices suddenly skyrocket.
Offbeatbride.com regaled the story of one bride who made a regular appointment with her hairdresser. It was the day of the bride’s wedding, but she didn’t mention that to the salon. She asked for a pretty style as she said she was going to a party.
They quoted the price for the simple request and she saved a lot of money. Had she mentioned it was her wedding, the same style would have cost her a lot more money.
Some call it “wedding tax”. The same flowers that would usually cost you a set amount, costs you so much more because it’s a luxury wedding. And the same goes for shoes, accessories and clothing.
As Ariel Meadow Stallings, the Seattle-based author of Offbeat Bride says, “with things like flowers, with things like clothing, with things like accessories or shoes or decor, there’s just no reason to ever mention that it’s for a wedding.”
However, she does add, “Often, the markup is justified, dealing with weddings is “higher risk, higher drama, higher quality.”
You Don’t Need All the Extras
Sure, you want them… but those extras are not going to ultimately add value to your big day.
You don’t need the wedding programmes, menu cards, 5-course plated dinner on gold-rimmed plates, champagne or chocolate fountain, bottles of Fiji water on each table and wedding favours that cost more than your wedding dress and definitely not monogrammed anything!
Those things do not make or break a wedding.
What you do need is a willing couple, keen to say their I do’s, in front of their most important people.
Ditch the “Dream Wedding” Idea
The fairy-tale wedding has been drummed into women since they were little girls. You know how the princesses all marry their prince charming. Thank goodness things have changed dramatically, for a start; princesses are marrying their princess charming, and princes are marrying their princes and people are doing whatever the h*ll they want to when it comes to their weddings.
Aluxers, ditch the idea that a wedding has to be done by the book. You don’t have to wear a veil, in fact, why are you even wearing white? Doesn’t that symbolize purity and virginity? And you don’t need to toss a garter or a bouquet, or smash cake into each other’s faces or even walk down an aisle. It doesn’t have to be a luxury wedding when it can be your kind of a wedding.
Do it your way, and if you can save a sh*t ton of money in the process, all the more reason to celebrate.
But it’s not just the fairy-tales as you’ll see with our next point.
Blame Social Media
White dress, bouquet, bridesmaids, flower girls, confetti girls, ring bearers, big cake, loads of guests, perfect make-up, it only happens once in a lifetime, we deserve the big, wedding. Well done social media!
Aluxers, have you ever come across your parents old wedding photographs? They are so simple, no major frills or fuss and everyone had the best time.
Cnbc.com published an article by Michelle Castillo pointing out that since the rise of social media, Pinterest, and Instagram, weddings are heavily influenced to be bigger and better. Kristen Maxwell Cooper, executive editor of The Knot states, “Social media has definitely influenced weddings in a way that couples are seeking larger-than-life ideas,” “I think they are having greater expectations for how their day should look and feel.”
Luxury Weddings Usually Bring Out the Worst in Family
Bridezilla, “a woman whose behaviour in planning the details of her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerably demanding.”
Then you’ve got the stressed-out partner, the mothers on both sides at loggerheads with each other about how the ceremony should pan out.
You’ve got the twice-removed cousins trying to be friendly to garner an invite to the big day, and the best man who is sold on bringing up every past sexual encounter of the groom to be, to the point of a fall out with the new wife.
Heck Aluxers, you’ve probably got your own ghastly wedding story to tell and we’d love to hear about it later.
Suffice to say, a big luxury wedding brings out the worst in people. By keeping it small, simple and cost-effective, you’ll be able to manage everything so much easier.
Here’s a great listen if you’re worried you might turn into Bridezilla, “Bridechilla Wedding Planning Survival Guide” By: Aleisha McCormack. It’s available for you right now on audible.com.
Just Because People Expect It From You, Doesn’t Mean You Have to Do It
A bride shared her story on Reddit, where she spoke about her decision to drive herself to her own wedding in her mom’s little Ford Fiesta. Her aunts and uncles were horrified and couldn’t understand or accept her decision to do so.
They offered their Mercs and BMs and caused such a fuss about her decision to drive herself.
Once the wedding was over and everyone had gone home, she received a message from an aunty apologizing for their behaviour. They acknowledged that the wedding was perfect, and it made zero difference what car she arrived in.
She stuck to her guns and didn’t bend when pressure was put on her, and neither should you. It’s your wedding after all. They’ve had their turn.
A Lavish Wedding Makes People Feel Obligated to Buy a Lavish Gift
That’s a terrible position to put friends in, and sadly, many bridal couples expect that.
Aluxers, have you seen some of the over-priced items some couples put on their registry for their luxury wedding?
Tiffany Ice-Buckets, diamond-encrusted wine glasses, flat-screen TV, a waterbed, and top of the range linen.
When Kim Kardashian married Humphries, they had a $840 “Havana” crystal ashtray on their registry, a $380 Baccarat jam jar and Lalique’s “Wisdom” set of three “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil” figurines, priced at $735.
One Upping Your Fake Friends Is So Redundant
If they make you feel like that, why even invite them? Those people are not your real friends. They do not need to be at your wedding, and you do not need to feel like you need to go bigger and better than they did.
In these situations, always remember this quote, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
You Don’t Have to Invite Everybody
Avoiding the luxury wedding and claiming budget restraints means you sadly can’t invite your ex step-sister with the bad breath… what a pity. And we’re afraid that you won’t be able to invite your father’s golfing buddy with the touchy-feely hands, because you just don’t have the budget for it… what a shame.
Are you seeing the benefits of a small, budget friendly wedding?
We think you are!
Aluxers, what is the most ridiculous item you’ve seen on a wedding gift registry? We’d love to hear from you!