Introverts Are Blessed in Quite a Few Ways, but It Comes With Its Sharp Edges. Here Are 15 Signs of Introversion.
2020 has been the year for the introvert. No social gathering, no big crowds, curfews and working from home, have all been peaceful bliss for these solitary humans. In fact, the term quarantine best describes their daily lives. They’re the ones who seek out the cats and dogs when they do eventually emerge from their hidey holes and venture into the world.
Let’s have a look at some of the signs that scream, “I’m an introvert!” But not too loudly, and scream it when you’re all alone at home, with your book and your cat.
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Introverts read tons! If you’re already done with today’s reading quota, here’s a fun YouTube upload for this topic that you can take a break with:
With that in place, let’s hop back into the article.
You’re Good at Hiding the Fact That You’re an Introvert
Aluxers, introverts are very good at playing the role of an extrovert. Often introverts are mistaken as extroverts, when they’ve actually been psyching themselves up for ages to pull off a great act at said event.
Once the event is over, the introvert will struggle with an introvert hangover – same as a regular hangover, except you feel super sh*tty from all that human interaction. Now, you’ve done your peopling for the month, and you’re ready to hibernate until the next one.
You Experience Anxiety Before Making or Answering a Phone Call
Chills, the sweats, clammy palms, dry mouth and a need to pee… these are the symptoms an introvert will experience when having to make a phone call, or goodness forbid, have to receive a phone call.
I mean, honestly, why can’t people just send you a text message? Why do they have to phone?
You’re Not Completely Anti-Social = You’re Selectively Social
It’s a misconception that introverts just stay in their own space, all alone, all the time. They do have friends, and they do enjoy spending time with them.
Being selectively social is more in line with the social needs of an introvert. They get exhausted if they spend too much in the company of strangers. They like to be with a small group of close friends, where one can actually hear the conversation, have deeper, more meaningful exchanges, and if the introvert needs to cancel, the group of close friends will completely understand.
Alone Time Is Not a Punishment
Paulo Coelho said it beautifully, “Blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge.”
And Aluxers, if you’re a mom or a dad, we encourage you to not fill your child’s day with an activity a minute. Children need to learn to be alone, and spend quiet time with their own thoughts, ideas, and feelings.
The introvert needs this alone time to refuel and recharge before they can head back into the world of people.
Being Around Lots of People Is Draining for You
Aluxers, what’s a group of people called if you’re an introvert? A group of people is called a “No, thanks.” (Leanne, can you make a drum punch line beat here?)
Part of the reason why introverts struggle with crowds, is the noise. So, an introvert deals with a lot of internal noise and that combined with high levels of external noise, causes a lot of stress for the introvert. It’s sensory overload and it’s hard to physically deal with.
Introverts are unable to switch off their inner monologue to focus on the external noise, so it’s like double the noise they’re having to deal with and that is exhausting.
Introverts Always Think Before They Speak and Are Slow to Anger
Introverts take their time to accumulate their thoughts before they say anything. They think through every possible scenario, several times before putting something forward.
That’s why, if an introvert tells you something, you can trust that they’ve gone through all the pros and cons, and the decision or story told, is legit and believable.
Introverts do get angry – they’re not saints -they’re still human. But their anger will be slow coming, which I don’t know about you, but that sounds even scarier than someone who just let’s out their anger and moves on.
Introverts Seek Out and Enjoy Opportunities for Reflection and Solitude
The thing with being an introvert, is that being alone is much more than just not wanting to be in crowds or be exposed to lots of noise. Introverts crave alone time because they like that space to reflect and think.
There’s also a science backed explanation as to why they like solitude.
Jenn Granneman wrote a book called, The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World, where she explains the difference in the brain of introvert and an extrovert.
An extrovert has a low sensitivity to dopamine, so they need more of it, whereas an introvert is extremely sensitive to dopamine, and too much can make them overstimulated.
Introverts, isn’t it good to know that your feelings and personality can be backed up by science?
Self-reflection is a trait of geniuses. But is that all it takes? Here are 15 Unusual Signs You Are Smarter Than Everyone Else.
People May Struggle to Get to Know You Because You’re So Quiet
Look, we were being polite there. Let’s be honest, people struggle to get to know you because you’re perceived as being stand-offish, and your unintentional resting b*tch face doesn’t help either.
We should just get stickers to put on clothing that has a disclaimer, “Not a b*tch, just introverted.” But it better be printed in bold lettering, otherwise random people will come too close to the introvert to try and read it, and then shock horror, actually try and converse with you!
Scrap that idea then…
Introversion Is Not All or Nothing
Aluxers, it’s not all or nothing being an introvert. Many people are both and they’re known as ambiverts. Ambiverts can work just as well alone as in groups. They’re not uncomfortable in social situations, it just drains them of energy. Being the centre of attention is also fine, but only for a short while, and while they like being alone, they look forward to the promise of company.
You’re Likely to Work in an Environment Where You Don’t Need to Rely on Others
Going into an office environment is generally not first prize for the introvert. Unless they can go into their own office and put the, “Do not disturb sign” on their door for the entire day, then that would be ok.
But introverts tend to do jobs that don’t require a lot of people. They could be a voice-over artist, a script writer, or a video editor, just to name a few… off the top of our head ?
You Learn by Observing
Rumi once said, “The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” The introvert is not quiet because they have nothing to say, the introvert is quiet because they are busy listening and digesting the information being shared.
Ok, it is possible that that particular conversation is boring them to tears, because it’s frivolous, but on the whole, they are learning as they observe.
Introverts are very powerful observers. They don’t just observe others, but themselves too. They are their own biggest critic and are very aware of their shortcomings and how to improve them.
When an introvert has a reason to speak, trust us Aluxers, they will
Introverts Are Mindful
The media for decades has portrayed introverts in an extremely specific light, and it’s usually negative. Shy, geeky, reserved, wallflower, socially awkward, stand-offish… are all the words used to describe an introvert.
By contrast, an extrovert gets confident, assured, brave, go-getter and we can go on.
There is much more to an introvert then just a person who likes being alone. We just mentioned that introverts are very aware of their shortcomings, and they have a particularly good sense of who they are and where they belong. They’re independent and autonomous, yet their good points are rarely highlighted, which often makes an introvert doubt themselves, leaving their feelings or choices unvalidated.
Aluxers, if you often feel anxious or doubtful, we released a great video which you need to watch: How do you fight Anxiety? It will really shed some light on what you can do to drastically reduce the anxiety.
People Have Often Tried to Change You
Aluxers, if you’re an introvert, you’ve probably heard these a thousand times before.
“Come out of your shell.”
“A night out will do you good.”
“You’re so quiet, don’t you ever speak?”
“Cat got your tongue?”
It happens on the daily, and if you had a dollar for every time someone asked you one of those questions, well, you’d be in the pound seat.
It can be difficult for an extravert to understand how it’s possible that an introvert could be happy. It’s not that the extravert is doing it out of meanness, it’s because they genuinely care and want you to be happy, and they truly think that being an extravert is the happier option.
Just remain firm with your extraverted companion, and they will respect your boundaries.
Peer Pressure Isn’t Something That Affects You
American writer and lecturer, Susan Cain, wrote a book called “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” which you listen to on Audible.com. In the book she writes, “Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured… Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.”
You can go right now to alux.com/freebook and if this is the first time you sign up, you can get Quiet: “The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” as an audiobook for free thanks to our friends at Audible who are kind enough to support the community.
Those are powerful words for the introvert and ones that are taken to heart. Introverts can stay at home knowing that there is a party in full swing at a friend’s, and not feel FOMO. IF they’ve made the decision to stay home then that’s exactly where they want to be and where they’ll be happy.
And as you heard, it’s not that introvert never wants to go out, they just choose when works for them. They need a buffer or a recovery period between events and gathering to stay sane and function properly.
They’re Mysterious – and Who Doesn’t Like a Little Mystery?
To those that don’t know you, you may appear aloof and a little mysterious… and that’s not all bad. As people get to know you and start to slowly peel away the many layers you have, they’ll discover an interesting, deep person that has a lot of value to offer.
Those that aren’t willing to take the time to reveal the layers, are truly just not meant to be the introverts’ friend and once you’ve found a friend in an introvert, you’ll have a loyal and honest friend for life.
Question: Aluxers, what best describes your personality? Introvert, extravert or ambivert?
Let us know in the comments section.