Can you really be happy alone?
Is being happy alone possible? Us humans are designed to function together, to form groups and societies so that we can work, love, be strong, stay safe and happy together. So you think you can be happy alone? Come see if we can prove you wrong, or just agree to disagree.
Our instincts have dictated to us for millions of years that we have to stick together in order to advance, although the main reason for sticking together at that time was survival, since ancient times people have discovered little by little the benefits of living in a group.
I doubt that at that time we understood what happiness meant but, judging by our natural response I think we had the slight idea that we wouldn’t be happy alone.
Not only does it provide comfort, both physical (like the basic cooperative food collection, sleeping together to conserve warmth, sharing information, achieving protection from predators) and psychical, but it also makes our lives much more easier – imagine having to do absolutely everything by yourself, without having anyone to help you. The amount of time and energy you would waste is huge.
So we’ve cleared this up, for practical reasons it is better to live in a society, rather that to be isolated.
Remember the saying : ” If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go with someone.”.
Now switching to the other side, the more personal one, being happy alone, can this actually be done? To let you know what I’m talking about I’ll just give you some examples of random moments in life that you might want to share with someone (or not, sure).
Remember that great book you just finished reading, it was really interesting, it had so much to offer, the characters were built perfectly, they were balanced, they were almost too real to be true, the action got you hooked, you couldn’t put it down for one minute… Who are you telling all this to? To whom are you recommending this, you’d like to talk about it, to share opinions and impressions – but who to do it with?
Does reading a great book (for example) without discussing it with someone afterwards actually give you the same satisfaction as reading it and then running to your friends to tell them how happy and fulfilled you are?
You’ve just bought this really beautiful outfit, sure,some may say you are going to wear it for yourself, you will enjoy it, admire yourself, you will be proud because you feel great in it, you don’t care who sees you… But what if no one sees you, and I really mean no one, not on the street, not in the club or at work, not your friends.
Would this activity have a purpose? Would you actually feel happy while doing this?
You’ve just painted this amazing picture, of an empty city boulevard in the winter, the snowflakes are falling, the lights are dim, everything seems so silent, there’s just the wind that blows subtly.
This makes you feel so accomplished, ecstatic, glowing with happiness, you’ve worked on this for so long ” See the details I drew on that wall, I remember seeing them everyday on my childhood neighbours’s house. That coffee shop, it looks exactly like the one I went to on my first date… ” you’d want to tell all of this to someone, so that the story gets passed on, and it doesn’t just fade away in your memory.
You’d want your friends to see it and appreciate it, it’s your life’s work, you don’t want to be the only one that looks at it.
What’s the point of going trough life alone, not telling anybody what you’ve done, where you went instead of buying some material thing. Not having someone next to you to admire our amazing world with, not having somebody be next to you when you are sick, or when you are at your best.
Not being able to wake up next to the love of your life, because that’s mostly what we search for in life, someone to make us feel complete.
We are programmed to search for the people that make us feel good, and surround ourselves with them. We shouldn’t run away from this way of life, we should embrace it and not be scared of human contact, of opening up to someone, taking a risk, because without realizing it at the moment, things like that make your life worth living.
In my opinion happiness is something you want to share, imagine jumping up and down with joy in front of the mirror, or in your friends’s arms, while they jump with you, hug and congratulate you or even pop open a bottle of champagne, what seems more likely to satisfy you?
Living a life alone would be purposeless, go out there, if you have people that you are close to, spend time with them, cherish them. If you don’t have any friends, go out, meet people, there are 7 billion persons out there, it’s impossible to not find someone you would like to spend your time with, so that you don’t have to pretend you can be happy alone.